Anaconda (1997)
When You Can't Breathe You Can't Scream
All song related snake jokes aside, here’s a blast from the past for you! It’s not really that old, but it’s certainly been a while since I last saw it. Yes, I could cash in on the new Bill and Ted by doing one of those, or the old Mulan or any of the other sorts of things - but what do I look like, a snake in the grass? Nah, I’m much to round to blend in with the grass - much like tonight’s critter is much to big to blend in with most places that aren’t a jungle-crowded river. Tonight, we get a look at Anaconda.
Back in the world of monsters and nature attacks movies, we don’t require a big plot. Elaborate tales to explain the world? Not necessary. Here, we only need at best a reason for people to be in the right location and a normally over-blown animal to be the villain of the story. Here, we get a film crew going down river in search of a mysterious tribe that inhabits the region that’s rarely seen. Along the way, they come across a wrecked boat and pick the man up, and then things start to go very wrong for the group. Things start getting even worse when the creature of the feature makes itself known - a giant, hungry snake with a penchant for ambushing and diamond-grade hugs. Will the humans survive against such a menace?
The plot is pretty bare bones with it. Suspicious things quickly add up to make you expect that not everything is right with the human elements, but the kill count belongs largely just to the snakes. Yes - I did say snakes. That being said, it’s a solid enough premise for getting people out into a situation, and outside of some questionable logic on behalf of some of the crew, it doesn’t end up falling into the “well that’s a pretty dumb decision” sort of territory most of the time. Many times when it is, they at least try to make it seem reasonable enough that it doesn’t make you hate it. Character development isn’t really on the menu, so just realize that you are here for some tensions, some monster spooks, and a body count.
The characters themselves, despite not really having arks to go through, are still not terrible. It’s not the typical day to day horror crew that makes you want every single one to die because they are completely insufferable. We’ve got a few little romances in there, the professor guy can be a bit of a jerk at first but by the end really becomes far more tolerable, and the chemistry between the characters is pretty well there. I wouldn’t necessarily say that the characters carry the movie on their shoulders however - they are good enough that you don’t hate it, and perhaps want one or two of them to survive - but they certainly don’t all get the same amount of screen time or personality. The late-to-the-game addition is a bit more fun, given that he feels a bit overblown and scene-chewy. Good for entertainment, perhaps less great for being believable when people believe him.
Party boat life.
The actors are somewhat as mixed as the characters themselves. Sometimes they have really good reactions to things, or do a nice job of putting a little emotion to their lines. Other times, things feel a little flat. It feels as though it’s pretty fitting of the movie - a little better than you’d expect from B movies, but not quite that super-high polished AAA list of actors pulled from only the finest corners of Hollywood. That being said, I’ll backpedal a little bit because I feel a good number of people should recognize at least four of the names attached to the movie’s acting pool. They do well enough with what they have, although personally I feel like perhaps a bit more ham or a little less ham would have made a more conformed experience.
The effects are generally pretty good - although at times will show their age. The best example of this is of course the snake itself. When it’s a puppet or real-made prop it looks pretty darn good - maybe not always super believable real, but certainly good enough. Plenty of time when it’s CG however, it’s not going to feel real. It could be better, for sure, although with some of the other things I’ve seen it could have been way worse too. Thankfully, for the most part until the final act the computer snake isn’t overused too much, instead preferring either tight-in shots on the prop or somewhat out of focus wides. It’s a smart tactic for film making, and generally works great until we get to the final part where the snake has to be present more often. Even then, it’s a lot of smart cuts to practical parts of the snake. The outfits characters wear feel appropriate for the setting, and the scenery looks great as well. The set parts also look pretty darn good, so it’s in no ways a bad movie to look at for most the time. The fact you have lovely Lopez and cool-as-heck Ice Cube in there only helps out.
Audio does what you’d expect for the movie. It’s got plenty of energy for the more action oriented scenes. It carries enough emotion for the scenes in which it would like. It’s got a few other shots of music in there as well, that’s more recognizable as actual songs. The sound effects are great, particularly showcased in a would-be romantic stint to the jungle with plenty of animal and jungle sounds - that promptly know when to cut out for that “danger lurks” moment. Line deliveries are good when it comes to audio balancing, and you won’t find yourself wondering what someone said when they flap their lips.
Do I see a snack boat?
In the end, you have a movie that fits in with what you’d expect for a creature feature involving dangerous animals. It might not have the same lasting effect as something like Jaws, but not many movies can. It does a good job of feeling mostly believable, and largely being entertaining enough that you can stick around to the end.