The Northman (2022)
Conquer your fate.
Since I’ve decided to do some new movies, I guess can hit the stuff that’s nice and fresh and in the “to watch” list on various movie delivery sites. Tonight, we go to the most recent money-back guarantee for things I should like - a violent viking flick! I’ve got a long line of liking viking stuff - even managed to read through the entire Nibelungenlied at one point - can’t remember most anything from it thanks to my garbage memory, but I think you get the point. Anyways, let’s see what blessing are bequeathed upon The Northman.
I can easily summarize the plot of this movie by calling it “probably the best gritty retake of Conan the Barbarian that I’ve ever seen” - but I feel like that doesn’t do justice to all the other movies that essentially boil down a revenge plot. The quick gist is you get a kid, his dad gets killed, and he grows up with one laser focus : honor his dead dad, save his mom, and get revenge on the filth that caused it. This is complete with a lot of viking fate, a mystical weapon with special stipulations, and a lot of violence. I mean, when it’s there it’s brutal. Not even a quarter of the way in a dude gets his nose cut off - and this nose-less git shows up through a decent chunk of the movie too. There’s more twists and turns to it brought about both by the plot, characters, and also just the on screen visuals which will readily take you for a trip whenever it feels like it.
The characters themselves have some depth in the acting department, even if it seems as though they can be pretty one note on paper. Revenge guy wants revenge. The nice part is it isn’t entirely black and white about it - and we do see that as people situations change so to does their outlook upon events and the future. There’s a dynamic nature to the characters, which in turn makes them feel much more like living characters than just the generic stereotype thrown together from one-note motivations. Heck, you could say there is actually some good character growth - even if I do mention some of it happens off screen for the ones that aren’t our one main character. That isn’t just a joke about how the main character starts as a kid and time-jumps to an adult either.
The actors do a great job here. There’s some pretty heavy things getting laid down, but they deliver it all to a dang T. It’s the kind of acting job that at some times doesn’t really reach out and impress you, because it can feel so mundane and natural at times, but when those heavier parts hit it really gives the breadth of range a change to shine and let people deliver those more solid emotional impacts. Of course, a lot of it also can come at you like a hurricane, when something like sadness turns to rage, or rage turns to relief - but it’s all done quite well and I certainly wouldn’t be surprised if someone got an award somewhere down the line for this thing. Oh, there’s also some surprise DaFoe in here - so that’s always fun.
The audio department is doing it’s job pretty hardcore as well. Yes, the music doesn’t stick around with me - but that being said it stands out a lot of the time just by being something that fits audibly in the historic setting with plenty of chants and the likes. The scoring really just blends with the movie while at the same time standing out, and it’s no fault of it’s own that I once again just lose it immediately after the curtains close. Balance is great, and you’ll hear exactly what you are supposed to. That being said, there’s a few times when the movie doesn’t feel you need to know what’s getting said in the language the characters are speaking and leaves you hanging if you don’t speak it. For the parts it deems important though, you’ll get some nice easy to read hard-cooked subtitles. Line deliveries are great, and come in all manner of varying volumes and emotional states. The violence also sound the part - so don’t worry about that section loosing out.
Of course, that brings me to one of my favorite parts of movies to talk about - the effects. Setting, costumes, props - they are all a good visual feast here. It does ramp it up a little with some fantasy - what with the whole mythical blade and the numerous acid-trip dream moments the help contextualize a person - usually the main characters - thoughts or beliefs as to what’s going on whilst also jazzing up the screen for the viewer. The violence looks pretty brutal, and there’s a couple in the body count that isn’t just human. That said, it’s not all just gore for the sake of gore like you might get in some zombie movies, and it’s actually a lot more contained then I would have thought going off of some of the shout-outs the movie got about it. That being said, if you ever wanted a fight scene between two built grown men bare-naked, this movie will pick up where your 300 aspirations left off.
The last thing I’d like to chat a bit about is a bit more of a jumble of thoughts. The first is the pacing - at a little over two hours long, it’s certainly not the longest movie I’ve watched - even recently. With that in mind, I’m always a fan of condensing stuff that doesn’t strictly need to be in the movie - and there’s a few song numbers in here or a couple other bits that can seem a bit slow. Not all of the slowness is unnecessary mind you - there needs to be that build to the finale, and boy does this movie build, but it can feel a bit winded if you are the kind of person who doesn’t get invested in the movie and the story on display. This wasn’t me, but that doesn’t stop me from recognizing the slower parts in the things that I do like (for example - Interstellar was an amazing movie to look at, but the entire Water planet scene could have been cut and effected nothing). The other thing I wanted to mention is that like a good piece of literature or art, there’s a lot of stuff people could jump into on this one if they were more the thinking type than I. Thoughts on the nature of revenge, faith, change, the cyclic nature of it all, greed - all that stuff is floating around in here with the blood and guts.
I enjoyed this one. It looks great, it feels brutal, and it easily fits into the mold of things that I like already when it comes to vikings. Now, I’d be hard pressed to say it would replace something like The 13th Warrior as one of my favorite viking flicks - but the two aren’t entirely the same thing despite the folks in the eye of the camera. This vicious revenge tail is way more in common with watered down retelling of Conan set in the straight real-world viking times than it does with 13th - but in turn, that also means it can fit a different mood. It has thoughts in there, it has good acting and a take-no-prisoners ride to it’s conclusion that would keep most who watch it thrilled. Those who don’t have any patience or an aversion to violence might not be as keen to enjoy it as others, but I’ll join the band wagon in saying this is a darn good, solid movie.