The Cabin in the Woods (2012)
You think you know the story.
The time has come! That’s right, I’ve refused to do this one as a long format for years - in fact, it’s the reason i created the shorter quick-flick format that I’ve used for newer movies. Well, tonight we are going to flip that out in celebration of me just wanting to watch it again - it’s been long enough without me doing it that I don’t think we have to really hold back about it anymore, so grab you extendable thermos and prepare - tonight we visit The Cabin in the Woods.
Prime topic number one: this movie is better going in without knowing anything specific. It’ s a horror movie that takes place in a cabin in the woods - and that’s why it’s named The Cabin in the Woods. If you like horror movies, then that should be enough to have you hop on in and watch it for the full ride experience. If you have any real interest in it at all, I would urge you to watch it before reading (or listening) to this. Just stop where you are and go watch it, then come back on over and finish up here to find out my thoughts. Not every movie can be drastically changed as an experience by having prior knowledge of it, but this is one of the few that I feel would loose a lot of kick if you knew about it before hand. This review will still be here, probably, unless I forgot to pay my hosting bill or the internet has ceased to be due to apocalyptic reasons - so there’s nothing to worry about there. Consider everything that follows to be a spoiler outside of me saying “I really liked this movie.”
The story follows a bunch of young’ns out for a camping trip to a cabin in the woods. We even get the “prophet of doom” explaining how they are all doomed whom they of course ignore. When they get to the cabin - that’s when the weird stuff starts happening, and killers come out to play. There’s more to it than that though, as we also watch a facility somewhere and it’s bustling workers who seem to be doing the day to day, betting on various aspects including what might happen to the new visitors of the cabin. Turns out, their sister sites aren’t doing so hot, so the pressure might be on for whatever it is they do, and what they do has something to do with the kids. You see, there’s far more at stake than just a simple camping trip and risky sex in the woods - the very fate of the world might be lying in the balance.
That’s the main kicker of the movie - like a transformer, it’s more than meets the eyes. This isn’t just a stereotype-clad horror slasher, this is a self aware movie that’s tackling the nuances of horror and how dumb they can be, down to the symbolism of a “greater beings” that need to be appeased in order to exist, constantly making bigger and more bold demands of those below it - more blood, more sex, more monsters. It’s pretty much literally picking apart not just the genre as it would be in movies, but the very audience (myself included) that would watch it, and that’s great. It’s taking what some would call tired tropes, and showing reasons - no matter how wacky - that those sort of things constantly happen, and it all escalates into a final act that’ll really bring the roof down.
The problem with digital streaming is the lack of UHD on PC.
The actors here do great, both in playing the characters and into the situations they find themselves. Yeah, it’s not always a moment for someone to shine, but it’s quite well executed to what it would appear to be wanting to. The villains all feel dangerous, and by the time you get to the ending everything has the safety turned off on what could or should happen. Sometimes foreshadowing pops up, sometimes chaos is just set loose, and sometimes it’ll carry out a surprise conversation about the audience and how they constantly crave more and more. For the most part, it never feels super heavy handed about it. Sure, the final back and forth is pretty blunt, but as a whole it feels like even the characters are aware when they are supposed to be without it feeling too hammy or mishandled.
The effects department must have had a blast - particularly with the final act. For most the movie we have typical slasher affair, with modern dress and the locations. Then we get the scientists and engineers, all looking like scientists and the likes. The engineering location is probably a bit of a standout in something different, but the cabin looks quite swell as well. As I said, it’s not until the final act that the most impressive stuff starts floating around, when hordes of various monsters and creatures dance across our screen like some kind of bloody carnival. The atmosphere is good, but that final dance macabre sets it off not only as a visual feast but also where it lets it’s story finally come together and the commentary become a bit more obvious if you can tear yourself away from the current happening.
The soundtrack is good - it might not really stick around with me, as things tend to never really do, but it works well with the movie as it plays out. Line deliveries are on point, with characters playing into their roles and situations quite well, but also never being hard to hear. As you could guess, that means the audio balance is quite well done also. Atmospheric noises pop up all over, sometimes tied to “key” objects and others just for the moment. The amount of little nods to various different horror movies and elements throughout is certainly a big bonus - but all the twists and plays off of the content provided is what really helps make it fresh and a bit more exciting. That and the abundant elements of humor worked in help keep it entertaining as can be before the horror hits as hard as it can. Of course, mileage is going to vary and that mileage will go far further with a fan of horror than one who stays away from it.
I wonder if a movie has ever just been this?
At the end of the day, even without the full effect of it being fresh and un-watched, the movie is still enjoyable. Still, the amount of fun stuff here - especially for fans of horror - is a good time. The little bit of mind blow really adds to making it feel unique from a very populated genre, and stick around for all the fun things that it did to play with expectations and wants. It’s a enjoyable mashing of all sorts, and honestly there’s a reason I bought it - because I quite like it! That said, not all moments are high-end perfection, and there’s some moments where things can have a bit of cheese or the acting gets rather mediocre about things, but for people like me, the final act alone makes it worth while to see all these things, and the rest of the movie is just a tongue in cheek viewing of an entire genre I’ve spent plenty of time enjoying over the years.