Ninja Assassin (2009)
Fear not the weapon but the hand that wields it.
So nice I’ll do it twice! That’s just me energetically saying that I’m doing another movie where I felt like I’ve already done the movie but all proof states otherwise. Originally, I wanted something of a fantasy movie tonight - like a old sword and sandals or something like that. After looking for something that fit the mood and discovering that the modern definition of a “fantasy” movie pertains to everything including Godzilla apparently, I abandoned that idea and went for this one instead. Get ready for a dose of computer aided violent action as the shadows come alive - tonight we watch Ninja Assassin.
Ninjas are cool, but deadly, but also usually horrible in upbringing. When’s the last time you saw a happy life story to a ninja? Well, this movie doesn’t try to reinvent the wheel with the plot - our main ninja got snagged up as an orphan and raised in the pretty heartless ninja ways. We get to see more in depth moments of this past through flashbacks, helping to fill in why he is the way he is when we’ve come to see him - which is as a finely chiseled man that I’m sure an audience not prone towards watching violent martial arts movies would love to get heated about, if they weren’t too busy not watching the violent martial arts movie about ninjas that he takes part in. Anyways, he’s out to get the big honcho - and it makes his path cross with a Interpol agent who just so happens to be on to the ninja clans being used by governments to assassinate specific individuals. Now the agent and him need to team up - mostly to keep her alive - for him to try and see his quest through to the end.
It’s a revenge movie really, so it’s not all that complicated. The characters within that movie also try not to be too complicated - it’s not necessarily that the movie is expressly pointing this out as some sort of good or evil situation - yes, most the ninjas are shown as somewhat mindless murder machines, but then again most the toted up law members are just as quick to start shooting at any shadow that moves after they are done joking enough that the shadow isn’t just a shadow. The main character getting depth here is our main Ninja - even though our lady lead gets a good deal of screen time as well. His is a bit more complicated, never really pushing too hard on morals but also instilling doubts here and there to make him seem as though more is between his head and on his heart than his fellow ninjas. Really though, the main mulling over being alive for real and not just as a weapon is technically an arc, even if pretty much all of it is developed in the flashback portion of his existence.
Actors do pretty decent here. I won’t lie and say that it feels like there’s a ton of emotional award winning content in this thing - and arguably most anyone whose excited about a movie called Ninja Assassin probably isn’t expect the drama of the century. That said, they do a good enough job that it stays entertaining and watchable throughout, with only really one or two lines that come off a bit stale in delivery. Accents aside, everyone sounds like they are trying with what they have, and most the time it feels perhaps slightly more like what they got isn’t super crazy elaborate - not anything near as bad as hating sand, at the very least, and also still standing on the ground of someone’s actual accent and not someone putting on a wicked fake accent that’s offensive. Body language is all quite good as well, and I’d say story-beat wise our lady lead rocks it. When it comes to an impressive physique though, our ninja is nailing his actions, even if some of those actions are just some kata’s and twirls in an empty apartment room.
One for the guys,.
Settings and costumes are modern - technically even the ninja fortress is modern, even if it is far more classical ninja movie with it’s paper and wood building walls and little bonsai trees. Technically I guess you could also argue the ninja costumes are classical as well, considering it’s mostly just folks wrapped up in the same halloween style ninja outfit you would see in a store - except a bit higher quality than that to be honest. The main characters all have their own look as far as the modern attire goes so they can stand out at a glance, but in most scenes if someone had you try to tell a ninja apart in full gear you’d be playing a game of Where’s Waldo with everyone as Waldo. Nothing in these parts look bad - although yes a lot of it is by design dark with the whole ninjas and shadows things - it’s not AvP:R dark, but it’s not exactly all taking place in broad daylight (although there is plenty of daylight scenes.
It does lead to some neat ninja effects however, all that darkness. Folks melding and being birthed out of shadows is pretty anime as heck - and the speed-run blurs that they can be seen doing from time to time getting from one dark spot to the next also seems fitting. The props all look good, and the more computer-oriented things are good enough to not rip you out of it as well. That said, I will point out that plenty of moments some of the weapons or blood effects look pretty CG - at times almost like it was doctored up to be in 3D. I had a moment where I thought it had been done with 3D in mind, but everything told me that no it hadn’t been released in 3D so unless I’ve been bounced between some Mendela effect universes it just happens to be a side effect of adding in the more CG elements (like the weapon flight/swing trails or perhaps at times the entire weapon). The violence is generally noticeable in it not being real physical stuff - in the same manner that a bunch of 300 was - but it really doesn’t bother me because it really lets them just have fun with what they are trying to do and it didn’t look bad despite not looking totally real. Of course, all of that is my opinion, but anyone reading these should realize that it’s all opinion, so I feel kinda dumb for having even felt the need to say that.
Audio is cool, but sadly follows my norm. It’s got some classical scoring in there, it’s got some stuff that even sounds a bit wild western at times, and of course it’s got my personal favorite - that hint of guitar and hard rock and metal to it. Sometimes it combines with the classical bit and works well, sometimes it feels a little bit (intentional or not) like two different things playing at once. Line deliveries are understandable and fine in my books, and overall there isn’t a ton I’d personally complain about with the audio. Maybe some of the weapon sounds are a bit louder than you would expect (like whizzing throwing stars that honestly seem louder then half the guns in the movie) - but that’s being nit-picky at this point. Thinking man stuff? Not what I was looking at - but let’s go with the classic having a heart, moral compass, the quandaries of raising orphans to be ninja assassins, and throw some government corruption in there too because we can. I wouldn’t expressly go in this movie because I wanted to think hard, and at no time does the movie ever really try and make you think - feel perhaps at times, but never really think I feel.
One for the ladies.
It’s fun, and I enjoy it as a ninja action flick. It’s got the body parts and the martial arts, the shadows and the shadowy organizations. It’s got a dude that I would never be as fit as in my life because I enjoy eating cheeseburgers way too much, and plenty of overly dramatic and totally impractical flip kicks and weapon twirls - truthfully a movie that is way more worried about being fun than it is with being real. I appreciate that, as I am here to be entertained and escape the real world for a while after all. It still has it’s shortcomings if you want to call them that - like a simple story and pretty straight forward characters - but it’s not the first time I’ve watched it (it’s actually I believe at least the third) and I still have fun watching it, so it’s nailed what it was aiming for if you ask me - although that’s assuming me having a good time is what it was aiming for. Who knows with ninjas, but if I ever cross them i’m definatlely stocking up on bazookas, which appears to be the ninja’s greatest weakness.