I generally stray away from Christmas movies - I'm one of those people who usually get mildly bummed out by the holiday, particularly after being forced to watch A Christmas Story for the eleven bazillionth time as the lazy television stations all show it on repeat. That being said, time flows by and sometimes things change - I still don't want to watch A Christmas Story pretty much ever again in my life, but sometimes it feels like busting one out from the vault isn't such a terrible idea. This is one of those years, and our entry is not only that but a musical - what most of my kind would consider a "double whammy," considering my usual dislike of musicals to boot. You know what though? Maybe a trip to the past is just what everybody needs this season.
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I think this October is going to be something a little... different. I've spent such a long time on a "scary" movie kick that I find myself free of the shackles of searching for something that will chill me to the bone, and as such find myself drawn to a new premise on this month culminating in everyone's favorite excuse to dress up. To start off this more light-hearted, nostalgia filled October, I figured we'd go back - way back - to a little castle in Britain. Rattle your chains and ready your dance number, it's time to see of this ghost will bring us laughs as he drains our color.
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So you fancy yourself a sleuth aye? Got Sherlock level detective skills that would make Batman jealous huh? Such a hardcore private eye that your completely colorblind and only see black and white and shades of grey? Is this movie about you, or are you because this movie? This is another one of those movies that you've either heard of - it's kind of a big deal from what I can tell in the mysterious black and white world - or it's probably much too old for you and you've got no idea what a maltese is, let alone a falcon. Let's find out if you should really remedy that.
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I bet that somewhere out there, at this very moment, there are people who either haven't heard the phrase or don't understand the phrase "Silver Screen." I wouldn't hold it against anyone honestly, media of all kinds is very much one of those things that gets passed down from a generation as preferential recommendations, and not everyone can get over such arbitrary things as a colorized screen or up-to-date effects. For me however, tapping into the "old world" just means access to new (for me) stories from a time when storytelling had very different means. Put on you pinstripes gentlefolk, it's time to delve into a mystery!
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I'm not gonna say know to a martial arts flick. Silly, serious, either one can be rather fun. Heck, even low-quality B-grade martial arts has it's place in the old entertainment shelf. So, whilst looking for another movie to tide over times till the repairs of my own entertainment center happens, we get to jump around a bit and entertain our inner karate-chop wielding selves with Bushido Man. At the very least, that's what we are hoping for!
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I'm not saying I really like "Found Footage" movies. I mean, I feel they have a lot of potential that nobody makes use of, so maybe that's why I keep watching that genre even though for the most part it's usually less-than-stellar results. This time around, it almost circles back to the one that started the craze to most people - that is, we get some witch action. Should we burn it, or did it come out not so hexed?
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Why wouldn't I watch a movie that lays the seeds for me to imagine Under Siege (the train one) combined with werewolves? I mean, don't get me wrong. I don't expect Seagal to pop out and get into any gunfights in a movie that's pitched strictly as horror, but trains seem like a logical enough spot to bolster up the dangers of a werewolf. Heck, there's been other movies that have worked quite well on trains, so I wondered if this one would pull up to the station or I'd find it's caboose lagging behind schedule.
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Originally, I would have loved to put up a review for this in the December slot, but it's unfortunate that it took me four months after that to see it. Still, this is very much a movie that falls into the category of "box art looks awesome, how bad could it be?" as far as initial draws. I mean, look at that box art and tell me this movie doesn't look rad! From the trailer, I walk away with "anthology movie" and "Shatner," and at this point I can't argue that my interest has been peaked - considering I love me some anthology films. A modest run time of an hour and a half even further sealed the deal to get me to watch it, but let's figure out if I think you should watch it.
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Ever get the desire to watch a movie that's supposedly one of the worst movies ever made? No? Well, it can't just be me, so you get to suffer anyways. Now, keeping with the variations this October season, I've moved from undead to bizarre twists of nature, and finally to some aliens. Will it live up to the hype of being so bad to someone whose seen their fair share of Asylum movies? Read on brave viewer, but I don't think that tinfoil hat is necessary.
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The great thing about a service like Netflix (or even the mostly extinct retro rental stores) is that you can see this wide selection of movies on display, and you can come across things you never knew existed. Granted, sometimes this isn't always a good thing, as catchy box art or a tubular name leads you into a dark hole of "what did I just rent and why am I still watching this?" Tonight's flick was discovered in just such a manner - scrolling through box art when BAM! The title catches one's eye. Samurai Fiction. It just conjures memories of black and white swordsman flicks while also sprinkling in a little bit of false over-the-topness, or maybe even something like a certain other movie that ends with fiction in it's title. Either way, these seem like totally enjoyable thoughts, so the only question to unsheathe is whether or not this movie lives up to those images or not.
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So this is a rare situation. Usually, when movies hit theatrical runs, I keep them over into the "Quick Flicks" section of the site, so as to still be able to inform my opinion of the movie to others, but without having to deal with the story part and have to worry about potential spoilers (because I'm a nice guy like that). In the case of Turbo Kid, however, it's a very limited theatrical release - as in a single theater in the entirety of New York is playing it, and it's not near me. Thankfully, they thought ahead and made it available via a few streaming video-on-demand sites that gave me the ability to buy it and in turn show it myself (granted, I may have a projector but it's no movie theater). Still, since it made the weekly showing that means it also gets the weekly review. So then, if you do wish to avoid any potential spoilers, I'll just leave a link right here so you can bail from this to the QF variant for just my general opinion. For others however, let's figure out just how rad this movie is.
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I find myself watching found footage movies as though one of these days the perfect one is going to happen around, and the entire world will realize how awesome they could be if done right. It's theoretically not something that should be that hard to do - and if anything building tension should be easier than through normal means, since it adds to the effect that the viewer is there (theoretically). It never seems to happen though, it always seems to somewhere go so terribly wrong - from either holding onto it's suspense for way too long, or pacing that's so dull you would rather go to sleep. Can this movie dig up some fun, or will it be destined to make your bones ache?
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Get in the Christmas spirit with a tale about Martians finding what it means to have the Christmas spirit! Most will remember this one from MST3K well before they remember it by itself I would wager, but it's at least certainly something different from the normal stable of television-run Christmas flicks. Different is good, right? He may conquer the martians, but find out if good ole Santy Clause can conquer your heart too.
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Get ready to travel into cinema's past again with me! Come now, it's a fantastic journey to a time when color was shades of black and white, the over-use of all things CG was unimaginable, movie posters were still something of an art. Not to lose out on the October-ly spirit however, this haunting journey back is a bit of a ghost tale. Do you believe in haunted houses, or won't you give them the ghost of a chance?
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He's the angriest gamer you'll ever know. Youtube browsers may already know who I refer to, and other internet users may have stumbled across the Cinemassacre site a long time ago already, but for those who aren't aware I'm talking about the Angry Video Game Nerd (or AVGN). A long time coming, this movie is a labor of love for the Nerd himself, and hopes to be everything budget-film awesome a lot of the B-flicks he enjoys would love to be (all while fitting into a similar format for the character of the Nerd). I should warn you now: language is a strong thing in the movie (and the reviews), so if you're easily offended by strong words you should probably skip it. That being said, is the movie really an out-of-this-world experience, or would you rather have a buffalo take a diarrhea dump in your ear (I don't expect all of you to get that)?
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To me, black and white are just colors. A long while ago, my mother recommended this movie to me, telling me I would have a blast with it and I of course had no reason to doubt her. Being a bit on the aged side, I of course didn't really recognize any of the cast or the likes outside of knowing the name of Cary Grant, so the most I could prejudge it is by the premise of the movie told to me - a premise that sounds absolutely ridiculous. Can this black and white picture have aged like a fine wine, or will we find it to be laced with poison?
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Oh stop your whining, I like watching foreign flicks - those that may or may not emulate some of the stuff we are used to seeing in our hollywood copy-paste lifetimes. Some of the reviews said that this would have some awesome fights, and being an action hungry kind of guy, how could I resist? Add in that it was dubbed so I could take a break from all the reading I've been doing as of late, and it was guaranteed. Can this gang of punks grow on you, or will you rather they be tossed in the gutter?
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I know this may not be a widely-held common thing, but every now and then I just get the desire to watch a SyFy original. Sure, sometimes the movie ends up being pretty dang awesome (like Dog Soldiers) but most the time it's hard to tell if a movie was decent or your expectations were just so low it was hard to be let down in the first place. Well then, this here's a SyFy original movie that's pitch is something so far not too used: What if we took vampires, and put them on a boat? What if we took vampires, and put them under the boat? Can Beast suck the boredom from your veins, or will it just plain suck?
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And it comes to this, the final part of the Heisei era of Godzilla. The promise of monster-a-monster battle, and something different about Godzilla draw us in to what we already expect to enjoy (being fans of our giant radioactive dinosaur friend). The defining film that takes it all the way back to the original Gojira, and wraps up the exodus of our monster king's story. Can the plot and characters bring this movie to the top, or will it be a complete meltdown from which we may never recover?
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Inevitably, the scale of these movies tries to one up itself. Sure, you get the little things - soundtrack changes, upgraded visuals, the normal stuff - but eventually a movie feels as though it consciously decided "Hey, you know what? We need this bigger and better." A lot of times, this can be a bad thing for the movie, but sometimes it's not so. Can a showdown between the king of monsters and a space version of himself prove to be out of this world, or is it a small speck in the skies?
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