He's the angriest gamer you'll ever know. Youtube browsers may already know who I refer to, and other internet users may have stumbled across the Cinemassacre site a long time ago already, but for those who aren't aware I'm talking about the Angry Video Game Nerd (or AVGN). A long time coming, this movie is a labor of love for the Nerd himself, and hopes to be everything budget-film awesome a lot of the B-flicks he enjoys would love to be (all while fitting into a similar format for the character of the Nerd). I should warn you now: language is a strong thing in the movie (and the reviews), so if you're easily offended by strong words you should probably skip it. That being said, is the movie really an out-of-this-world experience, or would you rather have a buffalo take a diarrhea dump in your ear (I don't expect all of you to get that)?
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You know what modern films haven't always done a good job of doing? Parody films. Yeah, we get the occasional one (like Shaun of the Dead) that's phenomenal, but compared to back in the day when Mel Brooks was constantly pumping out quotable riot after riot, it's hard not to miss the glory days. Speaking of the glory days, tonights entry comes right from that sweet spot back in the 1980's, named Ice Pirates. It promises rollicking good fun, space herpie, and even ferocious space possums. Can it truly be a riveting adventure on the rocks, or will it leave us floating in our own disappointment?
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I once bought a sword off of someone I worked with because I recognized it as the FAKK sword. One might then find it odd that the first time I have seen the movie from which it comes was just now. Granted, I had watched the original Heavy Metal long before this, and find went in wondering if it would be more of the same thing, better or worse than what I knew already. Throw on your spikes and lace up your boots, it's time to find out if you'll be banging your head while throwing the horns or just banging it against a wall.
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I know this may not be a widely-held common thing, but every now and then I just get the desire to watch a SyFy original. Sure, sometimes the movie ends up being pretty dang awesome (like Dog Soldiers) but most the time it's hard to tell if a movie was decent or your expectations were just so low it was hard to be let down in the first place. Well then, this here's a SyFy original movie that's pitch is something so far not too used: What if we took vampires, and put them on a boat? What if we took vampires, and put them under the boat? Can Beast suck the boredom from your veins, or will it just plain suck?
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Marvel likes making some anime-flavored flicks lately, but I'm not complaining. What character is cool that we don't ever hear anybody shout about not being in a Avengers movie? The Punisher. Who could we team up with the Punisher and have one not seem entirely outclassed? How about Black Widow? Tag team action in an animated form, with a little guest appearance of some the big-wig Avengers themselves! Is it a beautiful elegant thing to steal your breath away, or is it a vengeful executioner whose only plans are to stop you from breathing? Read on and and I'll tell you what I think!
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I had some apprehension coming into this movie, I'm not going to lie. See, I saw the old robocop before, and it isn't exactly the kind of movie that easily is turned into a non-R rated film while retaining it's unique feel, and that had me a bit worried. At the same time, I've had two separate friends tell me that it was "not too bad," which in my books means at least worth one watch. Would the corporate machine churn out another sub-stellar cash cow reboot, or would the soul find a way to give us a reincarnation of a classic in modern times?
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An old movie redone as a SyFy original movie? How could this possibly go wrong, am I right? Hahaha, jokes aside, this is kind of accidental (I had meant to rent the original, and silly me got this one instead), but I haven't shied away from SyFy original movies before and I tend to get some form of amusement from them. The real question is will this boat movie sink like the Titanic, or will it be as electrifying as a Tesla coil?
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Ender's Game is a pretty big thing as far as books go in the sci fi community from what I'm told - and as is usual with these sorts of things (*ahem*Starship Troopers) I've never bothered to read it. Know what that means? I get to enjoy the movie more than all the folks who already know it from reading, because they tend to get hung up on all the differences or inadequacies that I don't even know about! When it comes to movie adaptations, ignorance truly can be bliss. That being said, I like me some science fiction movies, and heard rather mediocre things from those who went to see it (again, it usually takes some goading to get me to want to throw down that 10 dollars on a theater ticket) - so perfect case of it showing up in the Netflix queue at last. Will Ender make the movie a game to remember, or should the game end after it's first fielding?
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Arach·no·pho·bia: the pathological fear or loathing of spiders. Some people would have you believe that it's a fear without basis - and maybe they are right. I mean, it's not every single spider in existence that can cause death or even harm to a human, so the fear of a little tiny creature that springs on you from nowhere and builds nests to trap it's victims and suck them dry is totally irrational, right? If you haven't figured it out, I'm a tad bit arachnophobic - but I've been working at changing that slowly over the years through sheer willpower. Most people have an awesome story about why they have a fear of spiders, and yet mine is both weak and highly entertaining: I was taken to see this movie when I had no business in theaters. In that sense, it demonstrates the power of movies and the lasting ways they can affect us, and in turn I can't think of any other movie that would make more sense to do for my one hundredth review. Stick around and see if this movie is a web of lies, or if it puts the fear or spiders into you.
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The Thing, again! Surprisingly, although you would assume it from the name being the same as Carpenter's earlier version, this one is actually a prequel instead of a remake! Now we get to experience what happened to all those Norwegians at the hand of our creepy extraterrestrial friend. Granted, I'm gonna spin this a bit - we are gonna start this thing off with an approach where it's all it's own movie (as though you haven't seen the other Thing), and then get into how it ties into it afterwards. So what'll it be? The perfect copy, or just a cheap imitation.
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I'm a fan of Kurt Russell movies, and I'm relatively sure that part of the reason is because I enjoy him as an actor. Bigger then that, I believe a lot of the movies he's in are just highly entertaining in some way or another for me more so than just him being in it. The Thing is one of those films that's in my general go-to films for when I'm bored and inevitably comes up at least once a year. Obviously, I like it - but will it click for you? Will it have you looking at the people around you in a new light, or will it be a gooey dead mess?
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Celebrating 50 years of Godzilla, and also marking the last made (until 2014's Godzilla hit theaters) Godzilla film, Final Wars finally pops up. Although unrelated to the previous reviewed Heisei era flicks, it certainly honors some of the earlier traditions of the big G - such as monster a monster battles. With access to higher levels of technology and equipment, can the entire movie be elevated for one epic final battle - or are we destined to suffer another stinker about a giant iguana?
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And it comes to this, the final part of the Heisei era of Godzilla. The promise of monster-a-monster battle, and something different about Godzilla draw us in to what we already expect to enjoy (being fans of our giant radioactive dinosaur friend). The defining film that takes it all the way back to the original Gojira, and wraps up the exodus of our monster king's story. Can the plot and characters bring this movie to the top, or will it be a complete meltdown from which we may never recover?
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Inevitably, the scale of these movies tries to one up itself. Sure, you get the little things - soundtrack changes, upgraded visuals, the normal stuff - but eventually a movie feels as though it consciously decided "Hey, you know what? We need this bigger and better." A lot of times, this can be a bad thing for the movie, but sometimes it's not so. Can a showdown between the king of monsters and a space version of himself prove to be out of this world, or is it a small speck in the skies?
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It strikes me as strange to be honest that this movie came after Godzilla vs Mothra. I guess it works, as one can assume that some time would have passed while Japan messed around with robotic parts from Ghidorah to make it - which is a turn over the "robot parts built on top of a Godzilla skeleton" that graces one of the other Mechagodzilla flicks, but considering how tied it is to that it seems as though it would have come first. Well, regardless of when the movie was delivered, can the movie prove to be massive scale metal, or does it prove to be nothing but a toy?
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Goodness, it took me long enough to get to this one didn't it? You see, the biggest issue is I wanted to take the time to re-read the book, as there are some pretty substantial differences between it and this movie - but of course I'll get to that later. For now, the world's most beautiful part-man returns with another job to kill another vampire. This time, things aren't quite as they may seem, and D isn't the only hunter on the case! Can this addition to the video collection bring it's fangs to bear, or is it just a stake to the heart?
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Yeah, the name can get long and confusing. In the IMDB link later on, you'll find its Godzilla vs Mosura - as apparently this is one of the few movies that IMDB doesn't have a proper english-version name for. That aside, this movie decides to step it up a notch with three monsters for the price of one, all while playing along with similar aspects as the others. Can these little bugs cause the movie to bloom into a beautiful butterfly, or is it nothing more than a worm in a fancy suit?
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The interesting thing one notices as time goes on is that each of these Godzilla movies seems to have a unique spin to the human side of things. In last weeks GvsB, there was a very espionage / secret agents feel to what was going on. This week things are a bit different, but the glue that holds these films together is undoubtable Godzilla himself - no matter what happens, at some point the threat of Godzilla rises to the forefront. As an added bonus, this is the first of the Godzilla flicks to really go into the history of Godzilla, outside of just "nuclear lizard."
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Now we start getting into the parts of Godzilla that we all tend to love the most - the monster on monster action! The 1989 entry marks the first step of the Heisei series that involves Godzilla not being the only giant monster to stop around the block - although by far it's certainly not the first ever 'zilla flick to feature multiple monsters (just in this arc). Can the king of monsters hold his ground against the new threat? Will the movie harbor any improvements over Godzilla '85? Did I manage to get the non-Americanized version? Either you are gonna love this like a giant rose, or want nothing more than to burn it with your fiery breath.
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30 years later, the great lizard king returns in the "first" movie of the second Godzilla story arc - called the "Heisei Series." In modern times, we would probably call this a reboot - although its actually more of rebooting a sequel to start again as opposed to erasing the original and starting from scratch. Now, the reason I wanted to do this specific arc or story is because it seems to deal more with how/what Godzilla is, which seems like it very well might tie into the newer one a bit more solidly than some of the others do. Of course, the real question then becomes is it a good thing that it might be getting it's influence from here?
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