Remember that silent guy named Bob? If you do, then you probably already know all about him making movies and being in shows and the likes. This weird little tale comes straight from him - and if you follow his podcast you will most likely get more out of this than those who blindly waddle their way into it, but that's not to say that it's necessarily bad right? Inside jokes are all over movies these days (I'm looking at you, comic movies), so that shouldn't hold anyone back. Will this walrus of a tale get you hooked, or will it be more of a sinker?
Read More
Are you a big fan of Cinco de Mayo? Maybe you love marionettes? Perhaps your even just bedazzled by fabulous wooden mustaches? This movie might have something for you if you nodded furiously for any of those question. Either way, lets find out if this movie can really pull your strings the right way, or if it's colorful best is found to just be a giant bull.
Read More
Disney, the place of magic. Even a macho man can find something they like amidst the ever-growing licenses nestled under Disney's imaginative wings. BH6 has a pitch that interests me - superheros, animation, and of course robots. I love robots - small robots, big robots, boxing robots, shooting robots, intelligent robots and controlled robots - to the point that I can recall a certain line such as "Chicks dig giant robots," regardless of how accurate that may or may not be. The question here is if I can find it in my heart to love a squishy Disney robot. Will it be the big hero Disney deserves, or just another in the 6-dozen other Disney movies on your shelf?
Read More
There are tons of weird movies out there. Some of those weird movies are only weird due to a cultural disconnect, some due to how they incorporate different genres into them. Sometimes you hit one of those weird movies and it carries with is such a weirdness that you end up spreading it amongst your friends, as though it was some contextual contagion spread through word of mouth in order to survive like you just watched the tape from The Ring. This movie is one of those movies - it's out there, quite possibly the most nonsensical film I have ever watched. Will it be a flick that you pass on for no reason, or will you find yourself tired of it?
Read More
Get in the Christmas spirit with a tale about Martians finding what it means to have the Christmas spirit! Most will remember this one from MST3K well before they remember it by itself I would wager, but it's at least certainly something different from the normal stable of television-run Christmas flicks. Different is good, right? He may conquer the martians, but find out if good ole Santy Clause can conquer your heart too.
Read More
I'm gonna be honest here - I don't generally watch this kind of movie, because it's normally not my cup of humor. That being said, this one looked like it would make fun of all the right stuff, so it had to at least merit a few chuckles right? The thing I didn't take into account is that a movie such as this might not have a huge heavy duty plot line, meaning I may not be able to milk three paragraphs out of it - so it probably would have been a safer bet to do a Quick Flick on it instead - but alas, it is in fact the weekly movie, and you are probably wishing this preamble would come to an end. Does the movie end my worries, or does it end the patience of the movie watcher instead?
Read More
Jackie Chan! Yeah! I know there's folks out there (due to pure statistical probabilities alone) that balk at the idea of watching Jackie Chan movies, but I like the guy. Sure, some movies are cooler than others, and some of them haven't been available till long after the fact here (which has lead to a bit of misleading time-frames in titles), but I've generally not had him in a movie that I regretted watching. Hadn't heard of City Hunter before, so I thought it would be a good chance to check it out, you know? Hopefully it delivers a city-worth of enjoyment and doesn't leave me hunting for my alarm clock.
Read More
Muppets go way back with plenty of the young adult to semi-adult audience, and at the very least are a generally recognizable by name. I'm sure some younger audience members may have been introduced by their parents, possibly their friends, and I'm not even going to wager on the actual audience distribution as far as gender and age as a whole. That being said, it's obviously going to be a family-friendly movie - as I don't think a Muppet movie has ever not been - with at least one number of song and dance in it. Normally these aren't my things, but ever now and then I like to diversify my viewing experience, but the real question is whether or not this was something that makes me want to add it to the wanted list, or send it to a Siberian prison and hope I never see it again.
Read More
People tell me that Megan Fox is a bad actress, that she's nothing but a pretty face. I honestly don't think she's that bad - I mean, surely no Kurt Russel, but leagues better than Kristen Stewart for sure - but the real test of how good an actor is would be in the breadth of roles they can play. That being said, I've been on a horror movie kick again recently, so tie in seeing how well she can do as a bad guy and the fact that (from the trailers) it's a sex-based monster while not actually having a lot of nude shots and you can color me interested. Granted, the questions always remains as to if the movie's goodness will be all my imagination, or if it's for a good time we should call.
Read More
He's the angriest gamer you'll ever know. Youtube browsers may already know who I refer to, and other internet users may have stumbled across the Cinemassacre site a long time ago already, but for those who aren't aware I'm talking about the Angry Video Game Nerd (or AVGN). A long time coming, this movie is a labor of love for the Nerd himself, and hopes to be everything budget-film awesome a lot of the B-flicks he enjoys would love to be (all while fitting into a similar format for the character of the Nerd). I should warn you now: language is a strong thing in the movie (and the reviews), so if you're easily offended by strong words you should probably skip it. That being said, is the movie really an out-of-this-world experience, or would you rather have a buffalo take a diarrhea dump in your ear (I don't expect all of you to get that)?
Read More
You know what modern films haven't always done a good job of doing? Parody films. Yeah, we get the occasional one (like Shaun of the Dead) that's phenomenal, but compared to back in the day when Mel Brooks was constantly pumping out quotable riot after riot, it's hard not to miss the glory days. Speaking of the glory days, tonights entry comes right from that sweet spot back in the 1980's, named Ice Pirates. It promises rollicking good fun, space herpie, and even ferocious space possums. Can it truly be a riveting adventure on the rocks, or will it leave us floating in our own disappointment?
Read More
To me, black and white are just colors. A long while ago, my mother recommended this movie to me, telling me I would have a blast with it and I of course had no reason to doubt her. Being a bit on the aged side, I of course didn't really recognize any of the cast or the likes outside of knowing the name of Cary Grant, so the most I could prejudge it is by the premise of the movie told to me - a premise that sounds absolutely ridiculous. Can this black and white picture have aged like a fine wine, or will we find it to be laced with poison?
Read More
Mr Bean as a spy? This has got to be good. Sometimes you aren't in a serious enough mood for a heavy duty spy movie like James Bond, so why not take a peek into what the best of British intelligence has to offer? Well, now that I mentioned it, will this movie bumble it's adorable way into our hearts, or will our brains wonder how our intelligence just disappeared in such a tuxedo clad way?
Read More
Arach·no·pho·bia: the pathological fear or loathing of spiders. Some people would have you believe that it's a fear without basis - and maybe they are right. I mean, it's not every single spider in existence that can cause death or even harm to a human, so the fear of a little tiny creature that springs on you from nowhere and builds nests to trap it's victims and suck them dry is totally irrational, right? If you haven't figured it out, I'm a tad bit arachnophobic - but I've been working at changing that slowly over the years through sheer willpower. Most people have an awesome story about why they have a fear of spiders, and yet mine is both weak and highly entertaining: I was taken to see this movie when I had no business in theaters. In that sense, it demonstrates the power of movies and the lasting ways they can affect us, and in turn I can't think of any other movie that would make more sense to do for my one hundredth review. Stick around and see if this movie is a web of lies, or if it puts the fear or spiders into you.
Read More
British accents and humor are a great thing. Sure, not everyone will appreciate it as much as others, but then again I don't find myself gravitating towards everyone else's sense of humor all the time. Quite the cast - at least two of which who's names I recognize - delivering their skills and all manner of shenanigans to follow. Will your sides wish for death as a release from the pain laughter has granted them, or is it more of a funeral parlor waiting for it's next victim?
Read More
From the title alone, we can assume it's going to be two guys with guns versus the world. Action, action, action! For best results, go in expecting an action flick and you should be content. Normally, I'd be more than happy to come up with a witty title-based remark that leaves you hanging, but with a title like 2 Guns, the best I can come up with is something like like "is it shooting blanks, or is fully loaded for an assault on your favorites list." Sorry.
Read More
Ah yes, drinking and the Irish, one of the easiest stereotypes to come up with. Sure, some will be attracted to the lovely Ireland, or that wonderful accent, or even the alternate monster-movie themed box art. For me, it was all three, although the simple prospect that somehow beer would be the savior of the people within it was far more amusing than any of the other concepts in there. Well then, it's last call - time to find out if it's all tapped out or the best concoction you've ever tried.
Read More
Ryan Reynolds hasn't had great luck with being in movies that are a bit off kilter or comic based as of late. He had that debacle with the CG-heavy suit of Green Lantern, and there was that (not really his fault) terrible excuse of a Deadpool in the Wolverine. R.I.P.D. was another movie that seemed to be a box office swing and miss, but we have a question here: Is there a reason behind it's less than stellar performance, or does this movie still have a pulse?
Read More
So, this is a true story. That won't fully sink in until after you watch this movie I can almost guarantee. You'll laugh, you'll scratch your head, and you might even feel like a worse person for laughing at some of the parts you will probably laugh at. I know which it was for me, but the question here is whether or not this movie is a doer, or a don't-er.
Read More
Ever wish you could find a movie like The Pick of Destiny, just more family-friendly? How about having your ear-holes serenaded by some sweet, sweet alien bluegrass? Well, I tell you what, I've never heard of the band Future Folk until this movie, but you know how I so often tell all of you that the soundtrack is just kind of there and background? Prepare for music to jump into the front of the scene. Whether you find yourself wearing a bucket on your head and trying to farm space worms or you wish someone would just set off a race-destroying toxin, set your lasers to stun and suit up for some fun.
Read More
