Before we got a number four and everyone flipped their collective lids. After we had already gotten two outrageously fun adventures to set up a formula to expect. Right when it was decided that Sean Connery needed to be injected in our favorite "archaeologist" was this movie. The Last Crusade would probably strike as a weird choice to review first - namely since the logical person would expect reviews of the first two - but I've never necessarily been one to really care which movie in a series comes up as an opinion piece, primarily because I've seen them myself before and really just write these up on a whatever-I-watch weekly basis. Crack your whip and get your fedora, it's time for some Indiana!
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I'm not a big musical person. Most people who know me know that - and it's not just a matter of I auto-tune (ha ha, funny!) out when I go to them or whatever. No, I give them as fair a shot as any movie I would watch - it's just for whatever reason most of them don't end up being my thing. Some people just can't get enough singing in their lives though - I'm sure Glee's success is a testament to that. Will Horrors manage to satisfy their hunger, or turn out to be plant food?
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When I say Mortal Kombat, the first thing that pops to most peoples minds would be a series of 'wicked' violent fighting games that had super cool finishing moves and a dude that yells "GET OVER HERE!" Others may remember the string of movies that it had - you know, all two of them - and others still (like, maybe one person) might remember more still. Well, trip that nostalgia up, cause tonight's fine delicacy is best served with a basting of blo- wait a minute, pg-13? Did this movie just Finish itself before the fight even started?
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Remember when you were super excited about the Lord of the RIngs? Remember when you slowly lost touch with The Hobbit? Well, this is the third one - the "defining chapter" if you will. The end of one tale begins the beginning of the next. Surely, with a title like The Battle of the Five Armies there will at least be more combat action than ever seen in Game of Thrones right? Well, let's delve into the furry footed thief story, and see if it re-inspires everyone to read, or if you will end up wishing there was only one movie trilogy in Middle-Earth.
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What's the most generic thing associated with ghosts? Give you a hint - beyond "haunting" it's most likely the title of this movie. Now, something like this could go great - could go horribly, horribly wrong as well. I mean, what better excuse to have some other-worldly activity that a board of letters that functions by most accounts as a ungodly portal into that which shouldn't be tampered with? What foul demons and lovable Caspers will be summoned from somebody's generically naive actions? Will the movie game with your emotions, or would you rather see it burnt for the horrible time you had viewing it?
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How many times now have we seen the story of Dracula? If I wanted to pan further, I could say 'how many times have we seen the story of the vampire?" And no, I don't mean that badly written worse filmed absent-minded Twilight series. If I wanted to induce vomiting, I would talk about the soundtrack to Nosferatu, which is at least a respectable movie. Back on topic though - we've seen it a lot. Most of us would probably agree at this point that the best rendition of Dracula is probably the Bram Stoker's variant, but Bella did have himself one mean stare. Well, a new age, a new generation, a new attempt at trying to bring back the old monster movies that I really can't be too mad about because I like the old monster movies. Should Dracula have staid untold, or will the movie nipping at your neck have you all hot and bothered?
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This is one of the movies that I feel me doing this for is pretty much a waste. I mean, let's face it, anyone who wants to see this movie has already seen this movie. At this point, the only reason anyone is going to read this is because they either want to know my opinion on something they've already seen, or because they've accidentally come here looking for Avengers 2 reviews. I guess just for my own ego, I'm going to pretend its the earlier reason and not the latter, but lets flash back and figure out if someone should be seeking to avenge this movie, or to avenge our wallets.
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Hercules. We have all heard the tale - be it through secondary means like Jason and the Argonauts, the Kevin Sorbo show, or even the Disney movie. At this point, one need ask themselves what more can they possibly tell of Hercules? Well, how about making him more human and casting him as Dwayne The Rock Johnson? Will it get you pumped enough to flip houses, or will it leave you wishing it was a little more mythical?
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I'd be crazy not to love action movies. Simple, straightforward, mind numbing scenes of glorious action and explosions? You know what really sets apart action movies for me though? One liners. Yes, choreography and cool guns and gadgets are important to make all that helter-skelter understandable in the mind, but one liners are the thing that stays with me longest. I can more easily recall "I'll be back" from Terminator than I can vividly recall any specific scene (although I can recall some of those too). In the case of Expendables however, we come into three off the back of 2 - which was in most people's minds a rather less than stellar follow up to the first nostalgia filled riot, excluding Chuck Norris of course. Can 3 bring the boys back in town while upping the ante, or is the series proving the longer it goes just how expendable it is?
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I watch this movie at least once a year, it's in my favored circulation. There's many a reason for this that we can get to later one, just as there are reasons that it's not the perfect movie by definition - although I think we could all argue that the perfect movie in reality isn't the flawless one, but the one that we can overlook all it's shortcomings because it's just that much fun. Can this Captain Planet of movies prove elemental to having fun, or will it just be that other sci fi flick with the cast of people you know from other movies?
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Nananananananana Nananananananana Batman! Before I continue with my pre-spiel here, might I reflect to you how crazy it is that we live in a time when auto-correct on PC's will actually properly relocate the spaces necessary for the old Adam West Batman theme? Seriously, I guess I know I at least had the right number of nana's in there, ha! Anyways, in a long running tradition of watching non-Christmas Christmas movies, I bring to you another flick that fits the bill, featuring everyones favorite superhero - Batman! Before he got super serious and swallowed a truck full of gravel, before it was decided that nipples needed to be placed on all the male suits, but after the televised version that contained onomatopoeia, there was the Michael Keaton run of Batmans. In this sequel to his first foray as the dark knight, can he triumphantly return to the top of your interests, or will it be the movie you deserve but not want?
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Jackie Chan! Yeah! I know there's folks out there (due to pure statistical probabilities alone) that balk at the idea of watching Jackie Chan movies, but I like the guy. Sure, some movies are cooler than others, and some of them haven't been available till long after the fact here (which has lead to a bit of misleading time-frames in titles), but I've generally not had him in a movie that I regretted watching. Hadn't heard of City Hunter before, so I thought it would be a good chance to check it out, you know? Hopefully it delivers a city-worth of enjoyment and doesn't leave me hunting for my alarm clock.
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I like anime. It doesn't always crop up in movies though, as I feel the vast majority of it is actually pretty well serial based as opposed to movie based. That being said, with a title like Legend of the Millennium Dragon, I couldn't resist. Dragons, and legends? How could it go wrong? Well, we'll just need to find out if its a legendary experience or just one of those movies that drag on
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Yeah, sure, the newest Call of Duty has exo-suits and laser guns - but Edge of tomorrow teased delicious mechanically enhanced soldiers before I remember them doing it - and I'd be willing to put my money down on EoT not being as derivative as well. Been a while since Tom Cruise was out there in a sci fi flick eh? Not really, but I kind of feel that's generally what he does well anyways, so that's not holding me back either. Will you end up repeating your viewing experience, or will you just live on like nothing happened?
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Find yourself with a hankering for a world war 2 flick that's less depressing and war-like? Maybe wish Ocean's Eleven had a smaller cast and was set back in world war 2? Ever feel the burning desire to watch some people thwart Hitler by saving art? Well, today might be your lucky day, as this is exactly what Monuments Men promises! Now all we need to do is figure out we celebrate over the survival of art, or if we rather wish the german guy shot us (I promise you'll get that later).
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Marvel likes making some anime-flavored flicks lately, but I'm not complaining. What character is cool that we don't ever hear anybody shout about not being in a Avengers movie? The Punisher. Who could we team up with the Punisher and have one not seem entirely outclassed? How about Black Widow? Tag team action in an animated form, with a little guest appearance of some the big-wig Avengers themselves! Is it a beautiful elegant thing to steal your breath away, or is it a vengeful executioner whose only plans are to stop you from breathing? Read on and and I'll tell you what I think!
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I had some apprehension coming into this movie, I'm not going to lie. See, I saw the old robocop before, and it isn't exactly the kind of movie that easily is turned into a non-R rated film while retaining it's unique feel, and that had me a bit worried. At the same time, I've had two separate friends tell me that it was "not too bad," which in my books means at least worth one watch. Would the corporate machine churn out another sub-stellar cash cow reboot, or would the soul find a way to give us a reincarnation of a classic in modern times?
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An old movie redone as a SyFy original movie? How could this possibly go wrong, am I right? Hahaha, jokes aside, this is kind of accidental (I had meant to rent the original, and silly me got this one instead), but I haven't shied away from SyFy original movies before and I tend to get some form of amusement from them. The real question is will this boat movie sink like the Titanic, or will it be as electrifying as a Tesla coil?
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Ender's Game is a pretty big thing as far as books go in the sci fi community from what I'm told - and as is usual with these sorts of things (*ahem*Starship Troopers) I've never bothered to read it. Know what that means? I get to enjoy the movie more than all the folks who already know it from reading, because they tend to get hung up on all the differences or inadequacies that I don't even know about! When it comes to movie adaptations, ignorance truly can be bliss. That being said, I like me some science fiction movies, and heard rather mediocre things from those who went to see it (again, it usually takes some goading to get me to want to throw down that 10 dollars on a theater ticket) - so perfect case of it showing up in the Netflix queue at last. Will Ender make the movie a game to remember, or should the game end after it's first fielding?
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Arach·no·pho·bia: the pathological fear or loathing of spiders. Some people would have you believe that it's a fear without basis - and maybe they are right. I mean, it's not every single spider in existence that can cause death or even harm to a human, so the fear of a little tiny creature that springs on you from nowhere and builds nests to trap it's victims and suck them dry is totally irrational, right? If you haven't figured it out, I'm a tad bit arachnophobic - but I've been working at changing that slowly over the years through sheer willpower. Most people have an awesome story about why they have a fear of spiders, and yet mine is both weak and highly entertaining: I was taken to see this movie when I had no business in theaters. In that sense, it demonstrates the power of movies and the lasting ways they can affect us, and in turn I can't think of any other movie that would make more sense to do for my one hundredth review. Stick around and see if this movie is a web of lies, or if it puts the fear or spiders into you.
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