In space, everyone can read your opinions.
You smell a pig? I smell Bacon. Pork-ception? Kevin Bacon playing a sheriff? Terrible puns aside, this movie feels more like a short story turned feature length film than it necessarily does a full-blown movie, so I may admittedly need to restructure or even shorten this review from the standard format. Still, it is probably worth finding out what I thought of this one, because first impressions aside, it might be interesting to hear what I think.
Read MoreIt was said that I should do something comedic this week, so I scrounged around and found something that should get some laughs - A Mel Brooks movie. I mean, have you watched a Brooks comedy and at least not gotten one laugh out of it? I haven't. So, safe bet aside, let's see how this Nazi-filled romp through a theater turns out!
Read MoreAs Valentines day rolls around, people would expect I'd capitalize on it by doing a romance this week. These people don't realize that I don't get payed for this, and instead get treated to another one of my favorite movies to celebrate my upcoming birthday instead! The number of lines I can recite from this movie alone show that it has a place in my memory, and it even has Antonio Banderas - who I could probably say is one of my more favored actors. Of course, the real question is why do I like it, and will you end up liking it, so let's venture forth to seek the answers.
Read MoreAction movies are fun, and most people could list off a decent few that contain Vin Diesel - be it his whole self or just his voice. There also isn't a whole ton of witch-based movies out there that a lot of folks will list off - I mean, top of my head I can really think of about 5, unless you count like the 12 version of Hansel and Gretel out there, and I practically do nothing but watch movies most the time. Still, this gives us a witch-focused Van Helsing staring Vin, so one would expect that it should at least deliver some fun during it's impressively medium (or short by today's standards) hour thirty run time. Grab your iron and start a fire, it's time to hunt witches.
Read MoreThe Rock vs the rock we know as Earth? I'll watch it - in fact I did watch it just before writing this. Put on your disaster goggles but set your mind to action-flick, cause this promises to be a bumpy ride. I'm sure I could shake out a few more earthquake jokes, but let's just tumble on over to the main part and see if the movie was a disaster or it really rocks.
Read MoreAt first, we saw the horror. Next, we saw the war. Now, we see the faith? Well, to say the least this movie is generally the one in the franchise everyone tags as the "downward spiral" of the series and any who have seen it will have their own opinion on that. Certainly it's hard to live up to such an action packed and likable sequel as Aliens, but it couldn't really be as bad as some of the horror stories imply, right? Strap in and let's find out if this is just a big acid-spit to the face.
Read MoreHot on the tails of the first Alien, the franchise continues with this sequel with aptly named plural. Those looking for a spooky flick will be kind of disappointed, as this sequel takes a different approach - but not all is lost. Let's continue on and see if it's game over man.
Read MoreThe future lies before the human race, and that future is the stars! The start of every year is always the best time for aspirations - be it loosing weight or hoping to pierce that starry sky with you spiraling rocket ships, so I'm using it as an excuse to do a movie that I do watch at least yearly, and am ashamed to say in the two some-odd years of doing this I haven't gotten around to yet. The original movie of this would-be franchise left many an impression across the time of it's existence so it's almost silly for me to even do up one of these about it - but then again some people don't know my opinion on this classic, so it's worth it. Ladies and gentlemen, I hope you are just bursting with excitement for an excuse to remember or re watch this one.
Read MoreAnyone not see this one coming? I mean, Seems as good a movie as any to end the year on, considering it takes place at the end of the year it's set in. I could prattle on about this intro for a while like I usually do - but I'd hate to put it off so long it comes out next year! Let's kick it and see if busting still makes you feel good.
Read MoreIf you check these out on a weekly basis, then it should be no surprise to you that this movie comes as the butt of a pun that I've spread across the entire month (showing horror movies dealing with Christmas-time only to be followed up by the Nightmare before Christmas on the night before Christmas). Gotta respect a guy for the effort, right? At this point in time, there is already a pretty sizable audience that has already at the very least heard of this movie, so it seems a bit redundant to even put up opinions for it - but then I always remember that even something as recent as 1993 can be new to someone in a time future, so I do it anyways. Slap on your red suits and rattle your bones, let's see if Halloween took over Christmas, or Christmas took over Halloween.
Read MoreIt's funny when I find ties between movies I've watched without intentionally doing so - such as the first ten or so minutes of the movie having me go "Isn't that the kid from Big Game?" Anyways, December continues, and this time I pulled in something that's somewhat relevant to a few other movies that are supposed to be hitting the big screen soon - no, not Star Wars. See, there seems to have been a kick in the whole Santa thing this year, to be more specific in the portion related to the Krampus. In turn, consider this a little bit of a prep for that, while also still being about Santa - well, dark-side Santa that loves his kid snacks. Putswhole new spin on "girl scout cookies" right?
Read MoreChristmas-adjacent movies are fun for me. See, I'm not a huge Christmas spirit kind of person - I'm no Grinch, I'm just not as prone to being outrageously happy simply because of a season being merry. As such, I'm not as drawn to the main movies one might see during the December months (such as that one about shooting yourself in the eye, or that one with Will Farrel). So this is generally what you get out of me - fun movies that take place during but not directly focused on the holiday itself.
Read MoreSomebody went and put Sam Jackson in charge of the country! Initially drawn to the over-the-top cover art (because with all the movies out there, sometimes that's the easiest way to pick), this little flick promised me a young Finnish boy promising the black president from a bunch of terrorists hunting him. Sounds good doesn't hit? Well, let's continue on to figure out if this stag has a remarkable number of antlers, or was really just a bear waiting to maul us.
Read MoreBe thankful that the world hasn't ended in nuclear fire. Be thankful you don't have methodical killing machines from the future sent back in time to kill you because of your unborn child. Be thankful that you haven't been met with a glaring amount of discontented reviews and insulted outcry from internet critics. Be thankful, for you haven't yet had the necessity to understand a time travel tale so much more complex than you should have had to yet. Or, you know, you could be thankful that their is no fate and I'm bringing you this review, because somewhere deep down, you know you wanted it.
Read MoreWe just did something on the water, so why not follow it up with something UNDER the water? Yeah yeah. it's a lame connection, but it'll do for this week. This flick promises aliens and underwater mystery, so it could go as terribly wrong as the situation for the characters in the movie. Let's dive into the picture and see just how much it does or does not sink.
Read MoreI enjoy creature features. It's just a thing - you always get these neat creatures that are sometimes really interesting and imaginative that you can really enjoy even if the movie itself stinks. I mean, if you really think about it even such classics like Alien or E.T. could be thought of as creature features in a way, considering they both have a focus of somewhat importance on a creature - even if the moods of the two swing to drastically different sides of the spectrum. With the advances in CG, creatures could become even more incredibly complex and fancy and imaginative - the downside being a lot of the time the actors have nothing to act against, making for blander performances and CG just not normally holding up as well over time. Let's get down to business here, you're here to figure out if you want this movie to stay on ice or if you should get a bigger boat.
Read MoreMost people would expect me to do a V movie to capitalize on the weekly movie landing on the 5th of November, but quite frankly although the movie had some great quotable quotations, I didn't enjoy it as much as some others did. Since that's that, I instead opted to do a different movie with plenty of gunpowder and memorable moments - one that I enjoy enough to watch on a yearly basis anyways. So this 5th of November, don't bother asking about a treason or plot, but instead ask yourself "What would Jack Burton do?"
Read MoreAlthough the fate of the upcoming "reboot" is as of this written article still undetermined, it somehow seemed fitting to wrap up a month of mixed-bag terror with something slightly more upbeat. A good deal of people already know if busting makes them feel good or not, but it's easy to forget that younger generations haven't always come across flicks that some of us wouldn't consider all that old just yet. Will nostalgia color the eyes like a particle accelerator paints walls, or perhaps you'll find your soul trapped in a movie too fun for its own good?
Read MoreOctober continues. We've done the undead, we've done cryptid-like legends, we've passed aliens from outer space turning our own dead against us, what could be left? Well, as much as I'd like to take full credit for this weeks movie choice, I can't do so while being entirely honest. No, that distinction goes to a Blastr article I read pertaining to a 'tops' list from their popular show Ghost Hunter's T.A.P.S. team. Seeing as this is one of the few on their list of movies that I hadn't watched, I figured we might as well add straight-up dead (or maybe extra-dimensional?) to the list of haunts for this October. Will you quake in fear over this dramatization of events that, as far as sources can tell, are actually based on true events?
Read MoreEver get the desire to watch a movie that's supposedly one of the worst movies ever made? No? Well, it can't just be me, so you get to suffer anyways. Now, keeping with the variations this October season, I've moved from undead to bizarre twists of nature, and finally to some aliens. Will it live up to the hype of being so bad to someone whose seen their fair share of Asylum movies? Read on brave viewer, but I don't think that tinfoil hat is necessary.
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