New movie tonight. In my fashion, I’ve lined up three movies for the squad to choose from - one was a sequel and got ejected since a few folks hadn’t seen the first. Of the remaining two, the current one winning out is one I’ve had my eyeballs on for a little while. It might lean a little to the action side of things, and the trailer evoked a little bit of Universal Soldier to me - and i had enjoyed that one way back when, so let’s see what modern movie makers can do shall we? Get ready for a surprise Michael Biehn appearance, tonight we watch Onslaught.

Nazi scientists always make things that end up super dangerous. Here, a very oddball one is on the task of creating super soldiers - and his main idea is playing with the brains to make sure they can do all sorts of science fiction stuff, like control their heartbeats and flex their muscles so hard they are bullet proof. Some of that appears to be a bit of a lie judging by events later in the movie, but at least part of it the scientist shouldn’t have forgotten when during an exercise against some soldiers they use that exact move to trick them all and escape. Meanwhile, an ex military mom has a surprise visit from her daughter when the dad and step mom can’t find a sitter and he’s got some important meeting or something. Oh, he also wants to take the kid and move far away - too bad for mom! Mom may not be perfect - she has some PTSD and the mouth of a sailor, and her mom skills aren’t necessarily the highest around - but she at least tries. When the two stories collide, things start getting real violent.

Acting here is pretty good. I wouldn’t call any of it award winning, mind blowing performances, but I still think everyone gave what was desired from the movie. It doesn’t play itself to serious, but it’s also a bit more sanitized than your average grind house flick - although keep that in mind for later. The villains don’t get much as far as character - a line drop for who they were in the past, and after that it’s all voiceless military killing machines. The body count is pretty high, so don’t get too attached to anyone, but there was a surprising amount of rooting for a few characters to survive, so something must have been right with the acting there. There’s also the one cover up guy that’s on drugs during some of the movie, so the actor gets to spice that performance up to more than just the normal government spook you would expect. There is a kid actor in here, and I won’t say that she’s bad but she is rather subdued. She has some cute lines and I believe it’s also probably what the movie wanted, but I do feel like it could be a bit more than it was as well.

Characters are kind of one line things for the most part. I know I already mentioned it for the villains, but it’s also fair to say that they are classic horror slasher style characters who we don’t really need to know anything about for them to be effective in their role. On the survivor (or victim) side, the only person to really get depth would be the mom - and that’s mostly thanks to “Mom protect” and the whole PTSD angle. I wouldn’t really say she necessarily has an arc where she develops over the movie, but you still root for her a bit. The one neighbor gets to go from a loser coward type to a heroic moment situation, but he’s also on screen enough (as in not a lot) that it doesn’t really feel like dedicated development as much as plot development - but it is nice to make you not hate him as much. The MVP is the old veteran neighbor, but I would also wager that’s more because his actor nails it combined with his role not putting him out there as an annoying character or anything through the run, so he’s really likeable.

Costumes are a good mix. We have plenty of every day stuff that doesn’t stand out - like our survivor and victims general day wear or work attire. Likewise towards the government agents, outside of the ones certainly not government issue haircut. Where the costumes get to shine is with our trio of monsters after they finally break out. Somewhere between going on a killing spree and breaking out of the base, they’ve all found unique bits and pieces to slap on their kit to make them look unique from each other and pretty cool. The one nets a neat little strap cape that makes me think of Ghost Recon, and the one finds himself some nice samurai-evoking should pads. It’s cool stuff, and it’s almost sad that they are so often in the dark where you don’t get to see any real details outside of the eye sheen.

Of course, that works great for the horror aspect of them being killing machines. The other side of that would be the violence, choreography when it crops up, and the props. One of them Kool-Aid manning through a wall is impressive, but the stockier one finding a chainsaw the size of a tree with what might as well be a Nascar engine inside leads to plenty of dramatic moments. Although the movie is rather violent, it’s surprisingly not graphic. Everything is mostly gunshots, off screen, or just buckets of blood with a few chunky bits here and there to pretend its’ more than just blood. I was not disappointed in this department at all. There’s also plenty of little details I personally wouldn’t have noticed if someone didn’t point it out - like slushee guy’s teeth being blue even when he’s dead because all the blue slushie he was drinking. As far as content advisories go, it mostly the violence and the cursing that’s going to net the movie it’s rating, but there are some free bosoms floating about as well. You might remember me mentioning the grind house bit? Yeah, between the weird bdsm raver the high government agent is at when we are introduced to him and all the blood hoses getting unleashed, combined with the way the title splash card gets thrown up there I really feel like this would be a perfect movie to go watch at a drive thru.

Audio here is great. I’ll be honest, after the credits roll I don’t remember the music - but I liked it enough I found it and am listening to it while I wright all this. It’s like a new generation’s John Carpenter in my opinion, feeling both minimalist with it’s synths but also bring in the heavy beats and energy when it wants it. I’m a sucker for synths to begin with, but the stripped back feel of some of it really just hits with me for whatever reason, feeling neon soaked just as much as the movie is blood soaked. Line deliveries are good, with plenty being reasonable instead of the over the top you would really expect. Of course as always there is stuff to think about, if your that kind of person that is. We’ve got mad science in here, government, military, war, parenting issues and PTSD just to name some of it. I imagine some could pick out some drugs and something to do with sexual fetishes if they really wanted to - but being real real with you, I was here for the paper sale of a Sarah Connor “at home” character fighting a bunch of Universal Soldier terminators. Movie gave me what I wanted with a little spice in that regard.

I like this one. It was fun - even with the rather weirder parts. The whole “good boy” scientist introduction thing? Sure, i guess? What I came for was super soldier slashers and a high body count, so I got that. There were more charming characters than I really expected, and it all moved a nice brisk pace so there wasn’t a whole lot of waiting around for something to happen. The baddies look cool and menacing, the effects help back it all up, and our lead lady isn’t just some over powered do everything with ease character -hearkening back to great characters like Ash from Evil Dead who are flawed but still likeable. It all came together nicely, and the entire group had a good time watching it.

@IMDB

Onslaught (2026)