In space, everyone can read your opinions.
Hitting up the classics this time! I originally had the plan to do all of these this October, but kind of went a little off track at first. Back on track now - got a three pack on sale! Yep, that means you can look forward to at least two more Scream movies before we hit the end of the month! Beware the phone call, it might be a killer waiting to make you Scream.
Read MoreI’m easing you into Octo-boo-r nice and easy with a slasher musical. Yeah, that’s right, you heard me - a slasher musical. It’s both parts slasher and musical. You want typical Disney live action if it contained about 80% more blood spray? Better get your rain poncho out of the closet then, you might get splashed! This entry also plays into the ever present fright of memory loss - who ever had “another movie he thought he did but found no trace of doing” on their bingo card better mark that one down, you’d probably be dead if it was a drinking game! Clear those pipes and stick the vibrato, tonight you try and sing your heart out before you get Stage Fright.
Read MoreSo, surprisingly or not I found another movie that I thought I would have done, but in fact through all my checking I have not done. October is around the bend, so I’m still holding off on doing horror this week - but I did find a tale with magic, monsters, and what’s honestly probably a horrible take on another culture that we really didn’t care as much about back in the 80’s because everyone was having too much fun with the beats and the styles. Apologize to your Shirpa friends in advance and get ready for a classic Murphy drive, tonight we rescue The Golden Child.
Read MoreIt’s time to get real - October is just around the bend, and if you know me you know that means I’ll have a legitimate excuse to do nothing but horror movies regardless of how garbage or great they are - so I’m purposely avoiding doing them for the next two entries of “the weekly movie” to give people a breather in advance. I’ve also felt like I’ve been just bludgeoning people over the head with action movies as of late - so I’m aiming for something different. I had thought originally about trying to tie in to the release of Star Wars: VIsions - which unfortunately came out as a serial show as opposed to the “I now have an excuse to talk about it on the movie reviews” anthology format like Halo, Batman, or even The Matrix did when they did the same thing. So what I settled on is a story of a kid looking for a mythical figure where he’s shown holding a samurai sword on the box art, because seems pretty gnarly to me. Don’t think it’s the boy, tonight we look at The Water Man.
Read MoreHey, you know who was my favorite GI Joe character back in the day? If you said Tunnel Rat, you were wrong. Obviously, you’ve seen the title so you know the real lead up here is me saying Snake Eyes - and you’d be right to think that! Sweet ninja guy with a cool mask, machine pistols and a katana with a romance of some hot action-hero lady? What more could any kiddo want? Well, they made a movie that’s supposed to serve as his origin story based on the GI JOE movie franchise, which escapes me as to why, but I’ll watch the crap out of it anyways, so take a vow of silence, it’s time for Snake Eyes.
Read MoreStill playing that Aliens game, so found another nonsensical movie for the night that doesn’t really fit but at least this time it actually has aliens in it. Leave the horror behind, tonight we slap on the camp. Let’s be real, most people are gonna enjoy a comedy more than an action flick anyways right? Well, maybe tonight’s little wood-be campy sci-fi homage won’t tickle everyone’s fancy, but either way we’ll see what kind of crazy gets about when Mars Attacks!
Read MoreHere’s a movie I haven’t done yet - as a matter of fact, I don’t think I’ve done any of them yet. Meh - who needs to start at the beginning for a movie anyways? Well I mean, to be honest I have seen a lot, if not all of them, I just never did a review of any of them. Tonight that’s going to change, because I’ve been playing a lot of that Aliens game that just came out so I’m in the mood for some action movies - and since I’ve already done the movie that would best fit that one, I thought why not go on a side-line and go with the concept of state-of-the-art soldiers? Tonight, we come back to something we haven’t gone to in the first place. Tonight, we roll into Universal Soldier: The Return.
Read MoreTonight’s movie comes from a conversation I had with a coworker. I most likely would have done this a long while ago, back towards when it was first mentioned to me, but as it turns out Amazon didn’t have it as a free to watch Prime movie at the time so I kind of just put it on a list and waited. Well, after getting that Monster Hunter movie taken care of last week - and a near call with getting replaced on the docket with the new animated Witcher movie - we finally get to see just what trouble the city slick and his little penguin friend can get up to. Tonight, someone is gonna Throw Momma from the Train.
Read MoreSaid I wanted to do it, so this week we get to do it. Sure, I was excited by the visuals of that live action Monster Hunter movie - but much like the same director’s Resident Evil series it quickly felt not like the game. That made me a little sad, but the costumes and the effects work had me happy at least. Now though, Netflix drops a movie that’s just an hour long, and looks to be about on par with the games in looks - but will it be a better adaptation then just inserting some throwaway soldiers into a movie where they arguably don’t belong? Let’s find out my opinions, it’s time to watch Monster Hunter: Legends of the Guild.
Read MoreI’ve seen the entire franchise. I’ve seen multiple entries numerous times. I’ve had numerous occasions in which to do this review and on this day I ask myself one question - again? How are there so many of these that I could swear I’ve done but I haven’t actually done? Will there ever be an end to it? Tonight we’ll look into why you probably should have listened to old Ralph when venturing out to Crystal Lake - tonight we go to the original Friday the 13th.
Read MoreLet’s stick with some action and add in some comedy. We go from a space-based budget to a comic-based modern “budget” A-team. This easily ties into the group of “haven’t I done this before” that seems to crop up ever so often this year, so it feels like a return to all around enjoyment! Well, I suppose enjoyment is a subjective term in this instance, but let’s find out if with the selection of tonight we find ourselves the winners or The Losers.
Read MoreGuess what’s short and has a horrible critic rating? Tonight’s movie! Yay, lets get some fart-fests in this bean-filled world of movies! I mean, I’ve been watching some pretty good to mediocre movies for a while, so it almost feels like I’ve been avoiding them instead of getting lucky, so maybe we can fix that. Now, don’t get me wrong - it can be bad as long as it’s enjoyable and I’ll be fine with it - but when you’ve got a failing by school grade rating from the common folk and a less than four percent critical rating, I expect I might hit issues. Either way, strap in and see how bad it is, tonight is Cosmic Sin.
Read MoreHere’s something I haven’t done in a good while - a movie that’s still “in theaters’ at the moment of the Thursday ritual. Yes, I nailed it as a rental from home, because i have a projector and crap and largely don’t want to be bothered with adding a step of “going somewhere else” on a review day (probably a sort of obvious fact, but I watch all these things immediately before posting them, unless I know there’s something that’s going to keep me from getting them out on time before hand). I strayed away from it for a while, because I used the Quick Flick format for it - but tonight, we want the spices of life. A zesty meal. A hearty serving of movie based on game based on other game. We want so many levels of werewolves that are brain is itching beneath the veritably village of hair it’s grown while the moon was out. Tonight, we hope our neighbors are good to us - it’s time for Werewolves Within.
Read MoreFrom the depths of the sea to the shallows of the plains. Tonight we settle for a western, but not just a normal everyday western - nah, that would be too easy. Tonight we ride into a pack of monsters that share the screen with the horrors of man. On this night, we pray for the sun - tonight we await The Burrowers.
Read MoreJust ahead of everyone’s favorite aquatic calendar week I return with the promised movie from the deep. The one not expected, born from one that wasn’t necessary. The one looking to regain the respect for a franchise that fell over in the mud during a critical play and caused dozens to crash. Yes, it’s blue, it’s deep, it’s the sea - tonight we check out Deep Blue Sea 3 and ask the age old question - can we recover from the nonsense of the last one?
Read MoreI no more than week ago learned of the existence of sequel to a shark movie that had already gotten another sequel that it didn’t need - and I was intrigued enough to think about watching it. “Before I watch that,” I had thought to myself, “I should watch that one I saw trailers and reviews for that looked like it was way up my alley.” For once, I listened to that little though, and before you get thrown into the deep end, let’s go to a different idea altogether. Did you ever wish Power Rangers was more violent and about the bad guys? Well do I have a treat for you, set your dinner aside and put on your effects-appreciation ponchos, tonight we have a look at Psycho Goreman.
Read MoreI’ve had this on the radar for a while, but in typical fashion I end up going every which way but loose and it takes me far longer to actually sit down and watch it then it probably should have. The initial trailer sold me on the movie pretty quick - Jackie Chan and a old Brit looking Arnold Schwarzenegger. I mean, I don’t care what it’s about or who else is in it, if they had a budget or if I need to read it - I’m in. Whatever you do, mask yourself from the review score, tonight we check out - and I’m going to be real, the other countries have a way cooler title with Mystery of the Dragon Seal, but what I have to work with is - Iron Mask.
Read MoreI’m an honest person - I had something else in mind for tonight. I got as far as buying the movie I was going to use for tonight - but then a friend pointed out something was on Netflix, and I realized my only true option was to do that instead. Why, you ask? Because I thought I already had done it, and if nothing else that feels like the motto for my choices lately. Just how many movies have I had Déjà vu for lately when it comes to these things? Well, a lot, and now it’s one more. This might seem like where going nowhere slowly, but tonight we look at Streets of Fire.
Read MoreSummer is here, and the heat’s come with it. It’s a bit early to be the 36 year anniversary mark, but I got to thinking about swimming pools the other day. Ask someone from my generation about swimming pools, and they’ll tell you about pools aren’t safe from impossibly large sharks. That’s right, another “how has he not done this” review, one that nobody even needs to read or hear because I don’t think there’s a person whose not seen it or heard of it. There’s blood in the water so you better scream shark! Tonight we look at Jaws.
Read MoreMany across the lands are celebrating as they get closer and closer to a return to normalcy after their routines were abruptly changed by a sudden pandemic. It’s a happy time for most - and yet here I am, trying to summon forth the ability to continue working via remote at my job to save money by rolling the dice - or rather plugging in the game. We were here once, it’s time to go back. Doesn’t matter if we end up the fat guy, the short guy, the karate gal or the one who smoulders - tonight drop-in co-op is back on the menu. Tonight, we’re player number one in Jumanji: The Next Level.
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