Well, the world finds a way to keep life interesting. It's the start of October, probably the best month of the year and a legitimate excuse to watch all the scary movies I want free from judgment from the crowd that doesn't get it. My local area finally has access to Internet that isn't Spectrum, and it's looking good. I then sit down to do this review and my computer starts locking up, and upon a reboot can't find it's Windows OS despite seeing all it's discs. I guess sometimes you should stop while you are ahead - I wonder if tonight's movie will echo that statement as we drop once again into a familiar franchise. I apologize for typos in advance, tonight is Scream 7.

Let’s get some more action in our lives. Want a fun crew? I’ve got a movie with at least three names and faces I recognize. Does it carry the classic “based on a true story” tag? Sure does. Trailers had this added to my list a while ago, so I’m not going to act like it’s any kind of surprise that I’m watching it tonight - especially after it hit Netflix and I didn’t have to pay extra for it. Strap in for a mouthful of world war Bond, tonight we are introduced to The Ministry of Ungentlemanly Warfare.

You know the deal - grab a selection of movies, screen them through the gang, narrow it down, then watch. Tonight came down to two of them - a new one (so new it requires a purchase) and the one that won, that didn’t cost anything beyond the subscription and two ad breaks. Think back into a land of floaty martial arts and bounty hunters as somewhere in a past China gets rowdy with plots and morals and sword. They’ve gone and made the wild dog angry, and now it’s time to taste his Blade of Fury.

A classic that’s remembered for two different things - neither of which really pertains to me and my lifestyles, but I still remember watching it when younger. Is it a product of it’s time? Yeah. Is it the first of it’s kind? Also probably yes. Does it stand out in the ever-crowded cinema-scape ranging from yesteryear to today? I mean, who knows, but either way I’d call it Rad.

This week has been interesting, if i was to put it nicely if not somewhat ironically. As such, the regularly scheduled movie night didn’t start until about when I’d usually be done with things. This wouldn’t be too relevant - outside of the fact that it lead me to do two things: go straight to the watchlisted items, and then find the shortest one. In turn, a relatively recent add ended up winning on top - one that stars Michael Jai White, whose my cousin loves so it’s easy to add to the list. Get ready for one weird movie, as it’s Special Op: Rent-a-Cop.

We’ve done the old one, let’s do the new one! I didn’t know what to really make of this one as far as where it would go for tone - but honestly, the trailer is bright, colorful, and full of action so in my head it’s an immediate “can’t be that bad.” I don’t generally pay attention to how movies do in the box office - it’s a fickle number that speaks just as much to everyone being broke as it does to genuine interest in a movie these days - so it’s pretty much entirely just going off the trailer for this one (and the sweet benefit of having a Prime sub that I only need to watch an add or two and not need to shell out extra from the wallet) but I’ve watched movies for less. Grab your buffest outfit and shout at your ceiling - tonight we watch Masters of the Universe.

Time for another spin down “thought I did that” lane. You can thank it coming around on streaming and me just finishing putting together some space marine miniatures for this one - well, that and when put in the line up there was a majority vote to watch this over the other options - other options that were all good by the way. A bunch of actors you would recognize in a movie that plenty haven’t ever heard of based on a tabletop role playing game made in Sweden. Do I have your attention yet? Get the party together, there’s a menace machine with some evil machinations, and the only way to beat it might just be held in the Mutant Chronicles.

If I can’t give you tonal whiplash with the different movies I choose week to week, then your entertainment boat must be a super-yacht baby. Anyway, tonight we take step away from the triple Bs and racist shark riding zombies and swap into a potentially more dangerous but way more believable scenario - the drug and violence prone streets. For the first time in a while, the cuz has time to attend a movie night so we are doing a little celebrating with one of his favorite actors - old Michael Jai White. Of course, I mean old in the “classic dependable” sense not as in the he’s getting old sense, because although the man is older than me if you did a side by side he’s in way better shape in probably every measurable regard than I am regardless of how much younger I may be. I have no idea how to pull off a great segue with this one, but when criminals mess with the wrong man they have to answer to Oscar Shaw.

I watch trash movies. It looks like I actually watch a lot of good movies if you look at the titles listed here, but this is one of “fraction of my power’ kind of moments. The good news for me, and possibly the bad news for some, is that I generally enjoy those trash movies that I do watch, even if I keep their cross over with the website relatively small. Not tonight though, tonight you get the result of me seeing a title and going “ah yes, sounds fun.” watching the trailer and going “Oh, and Nazis?” and then putting it in a lineup for a friend to choose who then decided this looked the exact right amount of stupid. Don’t think too hard, tonight is the attack of the Sky Sharks.

Ever wonder what Terminator would have been like if it was less serious and didn’t have a killer robot sent back with the soldier trying to save the future? Well, you probably still wouldn’t get the movie for tonight, but at the same time it’s still pretty general purpose with that. You may have expected something more weather related, but sometimes you just gotta go real oddball with it. Get out your “don’t take it too serious” pants or prepare for some pain, tonight is a tagline, a commentary, and an experience. Suck it up buttercup and get ready to save the future - oh, and Good Luck, Have Fun, Don’t Die.

What I’m about to watch any given week is about as unpredictable as the weather sometimes. You might thing I would be doing another sword and sandals flick since last week would have been a great set up for it, but no. Oddly enough, although totally unrelated you could probably find some connections still - like nature and female leads - but I assure you those are in fact accidental to the real fact we are watching what we are watching tonight. I’ve been playing a lot of a video game with severe weather and tornados lately, and it’s been pretty fun - and then one of the “newly added” options happened to be the sequel to this movie - which of course led me to decide I should do the original movie. Get ready for a movie that might suck in all the right ways, tonight we watch Twister.

There’s a lot of things I don’t know about, and probably just as much I only know about in passing. For example, I know Conan is a barbarian, and I had fun with the Arnold movies. I also know there was some books, comics, games - that sort of stuff. Now, if you wanted me to go in more depth than that, there’s nothing to it - I know of all that stuff’s existence, but I haven’t really done much of anything with it outside of watch the movies. I also know a lot of movies get trashed by the common audience, and when I watch it I don’t end up finding them nearly as egregious or insulting as the common person. Combine all of that stuff and we can get an idea for what’s going to happen tonight, when we tackle a character I know of in passing as “baller warrior chick” that get’s crapped on because her fashion choice has statistically been flaunted as scale bikinis which aren’t exactly known for their high armor class value despite effectively being the female equal of a certain barbarian whose common outfit depiction is a fur cloth covering his dangly bits. I didn’t hear many good things about this movie, but I can’t imagine it’s going to be that bad - tonight we are watching the 2025 attempt at Red Sonja.