On this little gem of a page, you can find my "reviews" for movies! As far as the reviews go, expect me to give the movie a fair go regardless of if it's an adaptation or original idea - although if I am familiar with the source, you can expect me to chime i on that as well. I've also provided amazon links at the end of each review, so if you see a movie you want to pick up you can provide a kickback to help the site keep trucking.
Search for genres (horror, sci fi) using this button.
View the Title List by clicking the clapper image to see movies by title (assuming its been reviewed). If you know a specific movie, use the search bar to speed things up. You can also click on a MPAA Rating bar to bring up a selection of 20 movies from my comrade TPBM and I each of that Rating. I'm looking into getting the limit to be expanded by my provider though, so don't stress too much, okay?
We’ve done the old one, let’s do the new one! I didn’t know what to really make of this one as far as where it would go for tone - but honestly, the trailer is bright, colorful, and full of action so in my head it’s an immediate “can’t be that bad.” I don’t generally pay attention to how movies do in the box office - it’s a fickle number that speaks just as much to everyone being broke as it does to genuine interest in a movie these days - so it’s pretty much entirely just going off the trailer for this one (and the sweet benefit of having a Prime sub that I only need to watch an add or two and not need to shell out extra from the wallet) but I’ve watched movies for less. Grab your buffest outfit and shout at your ceiling - tonight we watch Masters of the Universe.
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Time for another spin down “thought I did that” lane. You can thank it coming around on streaming and me just finishing putting together some space marine miniatures for this one - well, that and when put in the line up there was a majority vote to watch this over the other options - other options that were all good by the way. A bunch of actors you would recognize in a movie that plenty haven’t ever heard of based on a tabletop role playing game made in Sweden. Do I have your attention yet? Get the party together, there’s a menace machine with some evil machinations, and the only way to beat it might just be held in the Mutant Chronicles.
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If I can’t give you tonal whiplash with the different movies I choose week to week, then your entertainment boat must be a super-yacht baby. Anyway, tonight we take step away from the triple Bs and racist shark riding zombies and swap into a potentially more dangerous but way more believable scenario - the drug and violence prone streets. For the first time in a while, the cuz has time to attend a movie night so we are doing a little celebrating with one of his favorite actors - old Michael Jai White. Of course, I mean old in the “classic dependable” sense not as in the he’s getting old sense, because although the man is older than me if you did a side by side he’s in way better shape in probably every measurable regard than I am regardless of how much younger I may be. I have no idea how to pull off a great segue with this one, but when criminals mess with the wrong man they have to answer to Oscar Shaw.
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I watch trash movies. It looks like I actually watch a lot of good movies if you look at the titles listed here, but this is one of “fraction of my power’ kind of moments. The good news for me, and possibly the bad news for some, is that I generally enjoy those trash movies that I do watch, even if I keep their cross over with the website relatively small. Not tonight though, tonight you get the result of me seeing a title and going “ah yes, sounds fun.” watching the trailer and going “Oh, and Nazis?” and then putting it in a lineup for a friend to choose who then decided this looked the exact right amount of stupid. Don’t think too hard, tonight is the attack of the Sky Sharks.
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Ever wonder what Terminator would have been like if it was less serious and didn’t have a killer robot sent back with the soldier trying to save the future? Well, you probably still wouldn’t get the movie for tonight, but at the same time it’s still pretty general purpose with that. You may have expected something more weather related, but sometimes you just gotta go real oddball with it. Get out your “don’t take it too serious” pants or prepare for some pain, tonight is a tagline, a commentary, and an experience. Suck it up buttercup and get ready to save the future - oh, and Good Luck, Have Fun, Don’t Die.
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What I’m about to watch any given week is about as unpredictable as the weather sometimes. You might thing I would be doing another sword and sandals flick since last week would have been a great set up for it, but no. Oddly enough, although totally unrelated you could probably find some connections still - like nature and female leads - but I assure you those are in fact accidental to the real fact we are watching what we are watching tonight. I’ve been playing a lot of a video game with severe weather and tornados lately, and it’s been pretty fun - and then one of the “newly added” options happened to be the sequel to this movie - which of course led me to decide I should do the original movie. Get ready for a movie that might suck in all the right ways, tonight we watch Twister.
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There’s a lot of things I don’t know about, and probably just as much I only know about in passing. For example, I know Conan is a barbarian, and I had fun with the Arnold movies. I also know there was some books, comics, games - that sort of stuff. Now, if you wanted me to go in more depth than that, there’s nothing to it - I know of all that stuff’s existence, but I haven’t really done much of anything with it outside of watch the movies. I also know a lot of movies get trashed by the common audience, and when I watch it I don’t end up finding them nearly as egregious or insulting as the common person. Combine all of that stuff and we can get an idea for what’s going to happen tonight, when we tackle a character I know of in passing as “baller warrior chick” that get’s crapped on because her fashion choice has statistically been flaunted as scale bikinis which aren’t exactly known for their high armor class value despite effectively being the female equal of a certain barbarian whose common outfit depiction is a fur cloth covering his dangly bits. I didn’t hear many good things about this movie, but I can’t imagine it’s going to be that bad - tonight we are watching the 2025 attempt at Red Sonja.
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Prepare yourselves for a bloody good time. This isn’t really something from the backlog if I’m being honest - it’s on the list yes but it’s also way to recent to be considered stuck in the log. Heck, it came to streaming (on a service i already pay for) the day after i did the last review, otherwise it probably would have been done then. Anywho, trailer tells me i’m going to have a violent cultist packed time, and I can dig that. I expected something like that “drew the hide and seek card on wedding night and now I’m a sacrifice” movie that I had fun watching but forgot the name of - so can’t go wrong unless blood showers aren’t your thing right? Strap yourself up, tonight They Will Kill You.
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Out of left field we bring some comedy this week. I will admit I wracked my mind for a bit to come up with a suitable “go ‘murica” fourth of July entry that I haven’t already done, but when I finally got down to it and started scrolling through my to-watch list this one gave me a chuckle. Does the trailer make it look like a pretty dumb movie? Yeah. Does it also have a bit of accent to it? Yeah. So forget about logical theming, we are gonna watch the charming looking ghost movie and see if it is in fact Extra Ordinary.
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The actual requirements for me to watch a movie aren’t that high. It could easily be argued that I would be more picky about what I’m watching if I am watching with a crowd - mostly because I do honestly try not to make other people suffer through some of the real low-bar stuff I watch and still enjoy. Yeah, every now and then I’ll pick a Troll 2 stinker off the shelf and force someone to watch it so they know my pain, but most the time I’m more interested in everyone having a good time. I was left alone tonight, which means the universe was open to me - new, old, foreign, domestic, artsy or cookie cutter, nothing was out of bounds. After looking it all over, checking to see if there was any sales on the stuff in my backlog, and various other things, one movie tickled my fancy like watching a panda accidentally fall off of something. Hope you all like Jackie Chan - tonight we are watching Panda Plan.
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New movie on the movie night tonight! Heck yeah! Ever have one of those moments where it just pops into your head that you should check for something and realize that yes, it just so happens it’s available? Yeah, that is pretty much how it’s gone down on this occasion. Straight up, it is a sequel - so be advised in that front, recognize that there may be some spoilers for the first one even though I usually try not to spoil stuff in these, and that it’s most certainly going to be better if you watch the first as the majority of setup is there. Sure, you could skip it and still be roughly fine, but you loose some of that fine attachment you know? Throw on your sunglasses and then throw your hat, tonight is Mortal Kombat 2.
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My fantasy game had an update, and it’s got me craving some fantasy flicks. The one that would most match the game i’ve already done, but I had another one in mind and it happened to be on sale, so I guess that’s as close to planetary alignment as you can ask for in the middle of a hot week filled with chaos. Grab your magic rocks, prepare for something older than me, and let out your inner sorcerer’s apprentice - tonight we watch Dragonslayer.
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Welcome back to this weeks episode as slightly younger than me anime, where we go back to the time just past the dinosaurs when we had colors and animation in the same spot. Eighties anime was a thing, and let me say that it won’t be for everyone after folks have gotten “the good stuff” from modern times. If you got lucky enough to experience a still picture with seizure inducing sharp-cut lines in the background over extend talk sections to cut the budget, you already know what I’m talking about - still, everything needs to start somewhere. Tonight’s entry started a lot more still with an artist over in Japan with a very recognizable style if you know, and between then and now has gotten multiple whacks at cinema in various forms of animation and has inspired a whole lot in the lines of one of my person interests - mecha. Oh yeah, big old stompy bots are back baby, tonight we watch Appleseed.
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I had in mind another movie for tonight I thought I had already done. According to the name tags and my spreadsheet I use to keep track of them, the answer to that age old reoccurrence is always the same - no idiot, you have not actually done that one. It’s hard keeping track of what I’ve watched and what I’ve watched for here sometimes, and I can only imagine the absolute chaos it’s gonna cause when my memory gets even worse. Anyways, we got horses, we got horror mystery, and we got a what I think is the third big horror movie directed by Jordan Peele (although to be fair my memory doesn’t really recall if its the second, third, or fourth, so we’ll just go with IMDB’s third full-length directing credit). Secure your animal actors and get ready for what could be the best name semi-spooky movie you’ll ever hear - tonight we watch Nope.
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Got an old one for you tonight. Yes, I have a ton of flicks to choose from, including some that are on my list - and some of those I have been kind of waiting to see if they’ll hit the already owned circuits instead of needing to rent it. Anyway, today also happens to coincide with Skulls day - a day for Warhammer folks to find out all sorts of a new games and stuff in the pipes- but I’ve already run out of all their movies (all their new stuff tends to be shows), so I can’t on theme that. Since I can’t on theme that, and I am kind of wanting to catch up on all that news before it’s too late in the night, I thought let’s do something a bit shorter. I hadn’t originally thought forty minutes short, by my buddy never saw toinghts flick that’s slightly younger than me, so that’s what we are going to do. Time to put on you most metallic suit and go for a mouthful of title, tonight is Metal Skin Panic MADOX.
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My brain is having a rough day today, so we are going back to some classic action cinema. It’s one I know I’ve watched before, and could have sworn that I in fact would have done a review on, and yet here we are with all my records saying that I did not. Common reoccurrence in these parts really, not that it stops me though. Get your nicest jeans out, it’s time to hang out with some more Chuck - tonight’s it’s time for Invasion U.S.A.
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I said it, and you might have thought I was kidding, but tonight we're going to watch the movie that actually came out before the other movie that we watched last week. I know it's a bit of a wild concept and we don't usually do that kind of thing. I have been down to kind of just do a random movie, an entire chain of movies and just never come back to it. Last week's movie was really fun though, and I like having fun, so we're going to check out the one that came before. Will it answer any questions that we might have had leading up into the second movie? Will it have anything different on offer than the second movie? These are all very solid questions that a logical person might have. No matter what questions you might have, there's one that probably isn't a question, and that's I bet the soundtrack is gonna be good. Grab the keys to the van and pack up the instruments, tonight we watch Heavy Trip.
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Now I know what you're thinking. He slipped back into his habits of justice, making us have to watch a whole bunch of horror movies, isn't he? Good news for you? No, kind of. At least not this week. See, although there was an option of catching up on a horror movie that's in the backlog this week, there was also about seven other movies that are also in the backlog that I can now get to without having to pay extra. So I did what I usually do and put them to the committee, and the committee said we want to do this one. And by the committee saying we want to do this one, I actually mean we couldn't decide so we had to just random spinner it and the spinner decided for us. But it's OK 'cause it looked good. Do you like metal music? Do you like humor? Do you like humorous references to rock and metal music? Oh man, you're about to go for one heck of a Heavier Trip.
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It's time for another creature feature. There's no rhyme. There's no reason, it just is. Although last time we had a movie that had multiple layers to it with all of its characters and its incidental sharking, this time we have a movie about Gators in the Bayou. I probably sound as though I'm lacking a little bit of enthusiasm with this, but that's because I just finished watching it and oh boy am I mad. We'll get into that later, though. For now, you watch a trailer, and a trailer promises you drugged up killer Gators in the Bayou murdering people that happened to be there. What more do you want? What more do you need? That's right, tonight we're going to watch a movie whose title I have already actually said like 7 times. Tonight we watch The Bayou.
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