On this little gem of a page, you can find my "reviews" for movies! As far as the reviews go, expect me to give the movie a fair go regardless of if it's an adaptation or original idea - although if I am familiar with the source, you can expect me to chime i on that as well. I've also provided amazon links at the end of each review, so if you see a movie you want to pick up you can provide a kickback to help the site keep trucking.
Search for genres (horror, sci fi) using this button.
View the Title List by clicking the clapper image to see movies by title (assuming its been reviewed). If you know a specific movie, use the search bar to speed things up. You can also click on a MPAA Rating bar to bring up a selection of 20 movies from my comrade TPBM and I each of that Rating. I'm looking into getting the limit to be expanded by my provider though, so don't stress too much, okay?
There will never be a time I think when I don’t look into what movie to watch and realize I haven’t done one that seems obvious and I would have thought I already did. Combine that with the fact that it’s finally at long last October, potentially the best month of the year, and we already got an idea where this is going. When the leaves start dying, the excuses for the onslaught of horror movies rise from their graves and ya’ll get to either pump your fists in the air or collectively face palm depending on your tolerance of “scary movies.” Well, hopefully tonight’s flick aged self won’t give you too many bad dreams, tonight it’s A Nightmare on Elm Street.
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True talk, I actually watched this movie what feels like forever ago now. Part of that forever is just because my sense of time blows, and couple it with a bad memory and who knows when something took place really - but I can guarantee that at the time of writing this it was no more than three years given it came out in 2023. Anyways, I had fun with it then, so thought it would be a good time to spread the fun to whatever friends showed up for the weekly. I hope you don’t mind a spit of violence and revenge because tonight Boy Kills World.
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Back to action this week. Every time my one cousin shows up for movie night, i throw a Michael Jai White movie at him since I know he loves his movies. This night is no different from this. So what do I have for you? Action. Comedy. Perhaps even some romance? Strap in folks, this is a Hostile Takeover.
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Science fiction is tonight’s name of the game. Space, future, technology, and oddly enough a lot of the same old problems. This one isn’t really getting super crazy well scored places, and I thing I might have a sneaking suspicion as to part of why that might be. Anyways, I’m geared up for cleaning out more of the backlog, and what better time then when a movie goes onto a service where I don’t need to rent or buy it? Read your contracts, tonight we look at Mickey 17.
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The backlog won’t clear itself, so I’m working my way through some while inevitably adding more to it as well. I figure it’s been long enough since i did a horror movie - even though I guess you could say the science fiction one from last week had some horror elements in it - so it’s time of the old palette cleanser. Don’t worry, everything about the trailer tells me this one should be more of a funny homage to slashers past, so it’ll probably have something to it more than just a body count. Not that a body count is bad in a movie by any means. Anyways, to use their own tag line for the segue - pack your body bags, it’s going to be one Hell of a Summer.
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Tonight’s movie is hitting up some science fiction, and I always like me some space action. Props department and effects department are some of my favorite things - if in part because it’s so visual and easily identifiable as imaginative without me needing to have some crazy understanding of it like music, poetry, or body language can be. Now, going off the trailer I admit I don’t have the highest of expectations going in - but that’s usually nothing but a recipe for success when it comes to watching a movie. Get your battle buddies together and prepare to compare it to other great movies you like, tonight we check out Osiris.
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Making things easy tonight, one of the video compadres requested a movie tonight. Why did he choose it or where did the urge to watch it come from? I don’t ask questions when I don’t need answers - but he did assure me that this time he screened a review to at least not end up getting labeled “the guy that keeps picking the movies that he thought was harmless but had secret racism” to them. Nobody wants to be that guy. So anyways, tonight it’s a couple of nerds watching a nerd-movie about as old as I am about nerdy stuff. What nerdy stuff? Well, it ain’t no pinball, but let’s just say this kid is The Wizard.
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Tonight’s movie did it’s best to confuse me before I even started - Amazon video, prime service that it is, decided to randomly attach a different and completely unrelated modern zombie movie box art to it, leading me to wonder why I hadn’t bookmarked that samurai movie I saw and why I put a zombie movie in there when I haven’t actively been chasing after zombie movies since Train to Busan came out what feels like forever ago. Anyways, I couldn’t the horror movie from a dogs perspective and the comity voted for some fun sword slashing action, so samurais it is. In a way, it’s kind of fitting that it played the deception card from the beginning, but I wouldn’t learn that until later on. For now, grab your ladder logos to rep another team and pull your swords out, tonight we watch 11 Rebels.
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I felt like a no-stress straight forward flick, and still wanted to get through some of my rather extensive back log of movies that I keep meaning to see and just haven’t yet so tonight’s was relatively easy. Part of that is because it was free on Hulu - and if you can believe it, I didn’t even notice that the entire length of the movie there was a HBO watermark at the bottom of the screen until I had to get pictures for the review tonight. Goes to show how easy it is to miss details when you are just letting the movie take you for a ride aye? Anyways, think inside the box and return to the mines, tonight we watch A Minecraft Movie.
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I hadn’t planned on so many technical issues tonight, but if ever there was a silver lining it’s that it for once isn’t Spectrum’s fault as much as it is the power company not being able to keep a steady flow of juice flowing through their lines at the measliest inconvenience to one of the lines. Anyways, I’ve done a lot of newer movies lately, and I feel like that’s making me go soft (not really, I just felt like I should do an older movie). I’ve also done a bunch of horror lately because I’ve been getting away with it with a rash of solo watchings (or at least solo start watchings), so I though I’d give a little breath of fresh air to the non horror folks and combine my two targets: older, and not horror focused. What did I find? Space, bad CG, and Mark Hamill. No, not Wing Commander (although that would have been a good choice thinking about it) - a different one. Don’t confuse it with the awesome synth band, tonight we watch Laserhawk.
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My regularly scheduled plans were thrown into turmoil when i spent a good 3 hours after working doing farm work today, so by the time I got in to do a movie it was very much a “click the first movie I don’t have to buy and get it done” kind of night. How did that end up with tonight’s movie you might ask? Well, I’m guessing it might have something to do with it not doing the greatest in the box office leading to such a seemingly early release to Netflix - or perhaps I just lost all sense of time and it’s actually been around long enough it really shoudl be put out on there. One could only hope I’ve not struck a ground hog situation myself, but at least the only thing I need to do is sleep instead of survive Until Dawn.
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You may remember that last time I listed all sorts of types of movies that I was trying to choose from - well, some of them came back for me to offload the choice to another group of folks. What won tonight? Sci Fi. From the trailer I’ve got some mixed impressions of part visual feast and part low-budget claustrophobic, which kind of conflicts when you think about it. Expect that a lot here as we talk about this one, for most the taglines people are throwing out on the box art ain’t wrong for this one. Put on your space suit and expect to be confused, tonight we open the airlock for Ash.
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In typical me fashion, I found a collection of movies that struck my fancy and then offloaded the actual choosing in a vague manner to someone else. The result is no matter what I should win, although some would lead to various levels of review difficulty. Science fiction, for example, usually gives me a ton to talk about when it comes to costumes and sets, A monster movie gives me an easy in for talking about special effects - and sometimes depending on the flick there’s always commentary that monster is actually standing in for. A period piece gives me opportunities to show how I live under a rock and should really do some guided tours in different countries if I ever win the lottery that I don’t play. For tonight though, the winner is a tried and true staple of action cinema in the modern time - a Jason Statham movie! There’s work to be done, and he’s A Working Man.
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I saw a headline for a new movie that promised action and politicians, and thought "this looks my kind of stupid." Look, presidents and politicians are boring - but as an action movie? The president in Independance Day was awesome, and we got plenty of presidential fun in the whatever Down franchise - so certainly this one should bring some entertaining action, and considering the case I assume some good jokes too. Put on your tux and grab some fish, tonight we watch Heads of State.
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Another one came out, and like some pocket-size monster I have to collect them all. For a long time I've loved the franchise, watching the movies and playing the games, even going as far as to checking out the books and comics. Yes, admittedly I didn't go through every single one of them, but let it be told that I enjoy the stuff good and bad. When I heard we were getting an animated entry, I immediately thought to myself - well, I never thought about how weird it was this thing didn't show up in an anime with it's subject matter. Turns out, it still hasnt' gotten an anime - but either way we are getting out our muscle jokes and tuning in to Predator: Killer of Killers.
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All the gang are off doing other stuff tonight, so I fired up the projector and scrolled through my back log of “watch later” movies, wondering which would be the most fun to throw at it after having not used it for probably well over half a year now. Well, at a sale price of only like 10 dollars, One in particular caught my eye - one that I haven’t really heard anything good about yet, but looked like it could be fun to me on the trailers. Maybe not good - but fun. Since there is no collateral to complain about my choices, I thought it’s the perfect time to go venturing out In The Lost Lands.
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From a movie that focuses on murder and takes well into the movie to get to a murder straight into a movie that starts with murder. Tonight Netflix throws a movie that sounds a lot plenty of other action movies where we take a violent sport and one of it’s people and they get involved into stuff that isn’t that sport and possibly even more violent. It doesn’t take much to sound like a good time to me when it comes to action movies, which personally I feel is a superpower that lets me enjoy pretty near any action flick as long as it gives me some sort of action at some point or another - but if we put things like MMA in the description, well now I know we gonna get some punching and crunching. Subtitle if you want, dub it if you don’t - tonight we check out fitting but also super generically named K.O.
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Super happy murder mystery time! Okay, well, maybe happy doesn’t go in there when it’s a murder mystery exactly, but I mean it can still be fun and make you happy watching it right? For a movie I’m almost positive I haven’t watched before, this one sure gives out some déja vu - but could it still work for you? Get your train ticket and unlock those mansion doors, it’s time to get your sleuth hat out for you just recieved an Invitation to a Murder.
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Action and drama and another movie you would whole heartedly expect to hear “It’s like Die Hard except…” when referencing it. Why? Well, there is a skyscraper, and there is bad guys with guns, so much like every video game system is a “Nintendo”, every skyscraper action flick is a Die hard. This time around though, we get a female lead in the form of that one Jedi lady. Let’s figure out if movies titled after jobs can still be fun, tonight’s flick is Cleaner.
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