In space, everyone can read your opinions.
Long Live The King
Been a while since I did a string of Godzilla movies, and since I don’t quite feel up to tackling the massive arc of the OG nuclear force of nature, I opted to swap in the newest ones, because I apparently only ever did the first one of the more successful American attempts. Will they let them fight this time? Will we be more attached to the humans? Maybe we should ask Godzilla: King of the Monsters.
Read MoreThe most bizarre murder weapon ever used!
This one is another request movie. It’s an old one - older even than me - but not so old that it lacks sound or color. In fact, it’s actually one of Spielberg’s earlier movies, and a good number of people grew up watching his various movies.It’s a season spirited movie, for sure, albeit a much different one than some of the normal flicks I throw out using the season of spirits as an excuse. One man’s quest to beat a truck, put on your seat belts and check that radiator hose, tonight we see Duel.
Read MoreA Bitch of a Werewolf Movie.
It’s time for me to finally correct an error of mine - I have yet to do what I feel is the “greatest syfy original ever made.” Sad part is, I remember it as such because that’s where I saw it - but as time goes on I really don’t know if it technically is a SyFy original or not - might even be a bit of that there Mandela effect. Anyways, we’ve got monsters, we’ve got accents - tonight, we visit Dog Soldiers.
Read MoreJason, Freddy, Myers. We All Need Someone To Look Up To.
Tomorrow, at the time of writing this, is a Friday the 13th - and in October at that! Obviously there’s only one option as to what I could possibly watch. Only one slasher movie that could possibly be appropriate. Yeah that’s right, Behind the Mask: The Rise of Leslie Vernon! That dear folks, is what we call a misdirection!
Read MoreDon't rush, die slow.
Ever wonder what would happen if you replaced a slasher villain with a small unassuming animal that nobody ever would have thought a killer? Well, someone did. Not only did someone think that, they actually made a movie around it - and they had quite a sense of humor about it. Some might expect a pretty slow burn out of this one, but the most worrying thing to anyone normally interested in the kind of movie this pitches is the PG-13 rating. Tonight, we move slow because slow is smooth and smooth is fast, tonight we visit Slotherhouse.
Read MoreThe year is 1962. The place is Willowpoint Falls. Nobody talks about what happened in the school cloakroom 10 years ago. Now, in the dead of night, Frankie Scarlatti is going to find out why.
October is right around the corner - which usually means free reign for me to just pick the filthiest, scariest, or most monstrous cinema i can find and use the season as an excuse to force the sort of stuff i would normally watch into the universe. Surprisingly enough though, this one isn’t on me - this one was a request that got fast tracked somewhat from the back log on account of it’s requester being the only person besides myself to make it to movie night - can’t win if you don’t show up right? Going into this, all i really took the time to see was “ah yes, ghost story” and didn’t even really find out more than that because it’s all i needed to decide to watch it - that and the fact that I recognize the title from something, be it another movie or an urban legend or something. Well, buckle in for one heck of a ride as tonight we catch a glimpse of the Lady in White.
Read MoreThe year is 2019. The finest men in America don't run for President. They run for their lives.
In another case of the yearly motto memory lapse, we got another movie to go with tonight that I would have sworn I had done already. Maybe I did, back in the days before actually logged things down with “reviews” to try and make it feel like a better use of my time. Heck, it’s even to the point where I start calling them reviews instead of opinions, just to make it more simple, you know? Over 500 movies logged, with over 700 weekly trips to the “Kenima” - that’s a long time running. Tonight’s Arnold movie? Well, that’s not time running - that’s The Running Man.
Read MoreIt’s Craazzy!
Deja vu night - thought I did this already, but all signs point towards I have not. Got some pals to “grace’ with it’s presence as well, so why not? It’s all laughs under the space big top anyways even if folks don’t always have the same sense of cinema enjoyment that I do. Get your big foots and your balloon dogs - tonight we stop clowning around with Killer Klowns from Outer Space.
Read MoreThis one isn’t clowning around.
When I’m left to coming up with my own tagline for a movie, you know it’s going to be so much more dumb than what they could have just come up with themselves. I was left to my own devices again, so you know what that ends up meaning - back to a horror movie! Don’t get me wrong, I love action and all that sort of stuff, but there’s something to the face level simplicity of a horror movie - especially an initial entry type of horror movie - that lets me just have a fun time. Maybe it’s the body count? Gear up for the least clown looking clown killer you’ve ever seen, tonight we watch Killer Book Club.
Read MoreSucks to be him
Remember that backlog I’ve been getting too? Well, made the mistake of playing some Dead by Daylight the other night - mainly because they added the Alien into it, but also it has Nicolas Cage in there now. Only reasonable thing to do after watching him run around screaming out lines is watch a movie with him in it - thus bringing us to now. Comedy horror makes it more palatable to folks beyond me, and Cage means we’ll be in for fun. Sharpen your fangs and close the shades, tonight we check out Renfield.
Read MoreAN ALIEN WAR OF GOOD vs. EVIL
I did the second try at this movie a while back, but this time it’s to the original American attempt. There’s a long history of movie adaptations just not working well - part of it is probably the constant ask that a movie (something that’s generally pretty costly) make the maximum amount of money back, which leads to a lot of “generalizing” in order to cast as wide a net as possible to capture potential movie ticket buyers. This leads to a lot of things like “dumbing down” plots or combining or changing characters, all that sort of thing. Considering you can spend about an hour searching and not find this movie streaming anymore, I think we are pretty well aware of how this one lies with the majority of folks. Get ready to blast into the past of adapting Japanese things to a non-Japanese audience, tonight we look at The Guyver.
Read MoreA new evil has taken residence.
I’ve got a game thing coming up here in a couple weeks, so I thought I’d reign tonight’s movie in to a newer game-related movie I’ve been looking forward to. What is it? Well, it ties into a franchise that at this point I can successfully say I’ve played (and am not necessarily great at) a solid chunk of the games in - at the very least all the main-line ones. The fun part is that this one also fits into the continuity of all those games, and references parts here and there. It should be a good time since I’ve enjoyed every one of the animated takes in the franchise more than the live action ones - so it’s time to see what happens when the boulder puncher makes his way to the rock - tonight is Resident Evil: Death Island.
Read MoreHeavyweight Movie Bout
Back again we come to this franchise of mixed martial arts. I was interested to see how things would pan from the last movie and my mild complaints but overall entertainment. This one promises to be more focused as far as characters go, and we’ve thoroughly enjoyed the fights up to this point, so really our main reason to watch the movie has already given us no reasons not to. Tonight, we learn how many ways we quote Galaxy Quest in just the name of another movie, tonight we look at Never Back Down: No Surrender.
Read MoreThere is a plan. They just don't know what it is.
A new movie came out and I wanted to watch it, so that’s the plan. The general population has ratings pretty low - so you know what that means. No, not that it’s bad, that it’s going to be an absolute fun time because people are way too nitpicky about movies! So yeah, put your snooty-pants in the closet and bring out your detector goggles so you don’t mist half the movie - tonight we watch Hidden Strike.
Read MoreDamn…
It’s on the top 10 list for Netflix at the moment. It’s got a couple of actors I recognize the names off. It promises laughs, and clones. Upon the choices of flicks I laid out for tonight, this one was the winner of the poll, the champion of the pile - and it never really hurts to figure out what everyone else is watching, so let’s get on in to the movie with such a catchy tagline as “Damn…” - for tonight, They Cloned Tyrone.
Read MoreA break from the trend as of late, tonight we check out a movie that isn’t new to me but is new to somebody that I made watch it tonight. We get some science fiction mixed into our car movies, with some classic spooky sauce to top it all off. I will say that this movie is as old as me, so there might be some stuff that won’t hold up as good - but the only real way to find out is to watch, so put on your helmet, tonight is The Wraith.
Read MoreFeaturing UFC and MMA fighters
Hot on the heels of last weeks movie, I get to the actual requested movie for the week - but I had to see the first one to know, you know. Well, turns out I really didn’t need to see the first one to know, but now I can compare the franchise to itself as I go, and that’s the writers version of free real estate. Throw down with those mixed martials, it’s time to come back to The Beatdown.
Read MoreWin or Lose... Everyone Has Their Fight
Do you like troubled kids in schools movies? Perhaps some Karate Kid style troubled kids getting trained in martial arts? DO you like your high schools filled with toned semi-adults playing teens? Well do I have a movie for you tonight - one that spawned (let me count quick) apparently three sequels? Yeah, it looks like this movie did exactly what it said when it came to making a franchise - Never Back Down.
Read MoreThe legend of the demon hunter begins!
Tonight is one of the movies that seemed like it’d be an easy give me on a few fronts as far as it goes when it comes time to review time. The pitch is pretty easy - Jackie Chan, everyone’s favorite battle-damaged super star that can’t be stopped, and he hunts demons in ancient China. I mean, easily going to be action scenes, costumes outside the normal, and probably effects work of some kind! Yes, unless I know a full foreign language I’ll most likely need to read, but my eyes are not nearly as sore as the rest of me for existing currently so that’s fine. Time for a mystical romp that’s more than the pitch, tonight we follow The Knight of the Shadows.
Read MorePrepare for the ride of your life.
After the first Extraction blew up as a hit, it was inevitable really that another would be around the corner. Of course, as I say this I guess with Netflix nothing is ever “inevitable” - sometimes something does excellent and gets cancelled, sometimes it does horrible and doesn’t. Either way, most the folks who watched the first weren’t exactly disappointed to hear of a sequel - even if most would be left wondering how after the last ended, so settle in to find out as spoiler free a who-what-when-how is getting freed dramatically in Extraction 2.
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