In space, everyone can read your opinions.
Take up your sword
Tonight we take up swords. Why do we take up swords? Well, largely because I like them - but in this case for the good of a people and a healthy dose of revenge. Comfy clothes, a whole mass of like-looking bodies clashing, tonight we get it all packaged with some hard-baked subs that will make you wonder why you are seeing double until you turn off the optional subs - get your swords on, its time for 13 Assassins.
Read MoreThe uncatchable meets the unstoppable.
I’m not really one for spy flicks, but this one had a pretty nice cast listing to it and bragged about having more action - and that’s speaking my language. Sneaking, subterfuge shenanigans can only keep my attention for so long, so I tend to stay away from the likes of the double Ohs unless I’m in a particular mood for their sass-filled attitudes and over-the-top evil villains. Well, only time will tell if I’ve made a misjudgement in the choice of movie tonight - let’s go and check out The Grey Man.
Read MoreHer big hunt just got a lot bigger.
It’s been out for a while, and I think it’s about time I finally get a spot up for it. I’m a franchise fan - one of the few franchises out there where I have gone and read comics, gotten toys and models and busts, read books - all on top of watching all the movies. Being a fan doesn’t prevent me from noticing flaws and pointing them out however - and about a week after this one came out I started seeing the headlines go from “flawless movie” right on over to “worst movie.” Fun fact, I had already watched it day one, so it’s been interesting holding back thoughts because I hate doing things when they are too new in this format because of potentially spoilers and the likes - but it’s been long enough, so lets go. Time to get feral, tonight we check out Prey.
Read MoreIt’s been another life, beyond the one…
There’s some contention towards tonight’s movie. Probably the main reason it took me so long to get to it was jsut that it’s two and a half hours long. That being said, the franchise was relatively agreeably on a decline - which in part was probably just because the first started so strong it was pretty hard to follow up, and the final might have gotten perhaps a bit too on-the-nose instead of background philosophical. Still, the trilogy was complete, people had moved on - and then out comes a new one, a new one we are going to check tonight - it’s The Matrix Resurrections.
Read MoreRevenge is a dirty business.
I offered up some genre options, and from there we narrowed it down by titles - and so I finally get around to a movie I’ve had in my rental list for a while. The man, the myth, the dude who owns a castle in my home state - which reminds me I have to track that documentary to watch at some point as well - was the main draw to this one for me. Of course, I also am quite familiar with the movie type as it were - the drama-heavy front end with a man who finally takes enough and things get violent. Considering I have seen nothing to dissuade my interest, let’s hop right on in to the movie about a garbage guy taking out the garbage - Clean.
Read MoreA haunted ship. A missing crew. An infinite evil.
It’s week six hundred and sixty six. I tried to find the most suitable movie for the occasion, but the pickings weren’t the strongest since the default logical things - like The Exorcist - have already been viewed and logged long ago. Of course, some might be slightly confused by the proclamation that this is the number it is, considering this is really only movie 513 - a far throw from what I’m claiming as far as the week number. The reason for this discrepancy stems from the fact that I started the weekly movie night long before I did logging these reviews to make me feel more productive having a weekly movie night. Really, this means I could technically give two moments of evil-themed events, but I tend to work off the week number as that’s when it all started (if I’m being nostalgic). Speaking of nostalgic, tonight’s movie is from the tail end of the 90’s from the guy that brought you the original Mortal Kombat movie and that Resident Evil movie franchise that kept getting worse as it went. Strap in for a trip to space-hell, it’s time to look for Event Horizon.
Read MoreEnough Said!
What happens when it’s shark week, you remember it’s shark week, and you’ve already been through all the good shark movies? Well, you force people to watch tonights movie, obviously. I will absolutely never understand why this movie got popular enough to merit having five sequels. Like, I enjoy bad movies and dumb movies and good movies - but there is no reason this really should have caught on like fire. More support for that statement? The entire franchise is below a 4 out of 10. Stunning reviews from the populace right there! Anyways, grab a chainsaw it’s time for Sharknado.
Read MoreEvil Dies Tonight.
Working that backlog again tonight - and being on my own for the movie night has it’s advantages. Namely, in the case of tonight, I can pick up somewhere else I left off without having to force someone to start in the middle of something and get all confused. Not that tonight’s movie really takes a whole lot of brain power to process, but it’s always a nice touch to know what your getting into when it’s a multiple movie run. Tonight, we watch what I should have saved for week 666 - tonight, behold as Halloween Kills.
Read MoreIt’s not a reboot, It’s a comeback.
Took me a while to get here, but I finally caved and watched tonight’s movie. It’s not that I was avoiding it, as much as saving it for if others were interested - until at long last I said heck, I’m just going to watch it. I remember the NES game somewhat, but I don’t remember the show at all, so I’m sure most the nostalgia will go completely over my head unless the movie beats it in - but I’ll be real with you. The main reason I was interested in this is the pitch of a modern day Roger Rabbit with the live action and toons kicking together - but can it hold the rest of the movie up on it’s shoulder if it’s the only thing there? Grab your small Indiana Jones outfit, it’s time to check out Chip ‘n Dale: Rescue Rangers.
Read MoreIf You Go Down To The Woods Today…
I’ve been too kind to you lately. I’ve been treating you to these brand new movies that have had plenty of good things said about them, and haven’t been digging deep enough into the whirling waters of the cinematic pool to really get you to appreciate them. Although I don’t actively seek out bad movies, sometimes you get the pitch of a movie and know it’s probably not destined for greatness. Perhaps, you think to yourself, if I give it a watch it will impress me, as though if enough people watch it it’ll become a cult classic that somehow makes it better like a role playing game hero who just leveled up. Well, I have a penchant for watching dang near anything, and when it’s only 3 dollars on the line I can be a very forgiving guy - but will tonight’s entry be enough to remind me of the reasons why I don’t dwell out in the woods, or of movies that I don’t often revisit instead? Tonight, There’s Something in the Shadows.
Read MoreThe same summer I fought vampires.
I remember a while batch watching a movie called Vampires vs the Bronx after seeing a trailer that pitched a more horror-oriented The Goonies essentially. I remember having a lot of fun with it - but I don’t think that ever made it to being a review up on here (yeah, I know it’s unbelievable that a guy that watches a movie a week consistently would watch stuff in his spare time too but I do). Well, tonight I had a bit of free reign and timing to go after whatever in the world I wanted to - and my first thought was something like one of the currently making waves movies, but then I thought about all that subtitled reading I would need to do for 3 hours, and checked my “to watch” list on Amazon instead, where I came across this. That’s right, thanks to past me seeing this and going “that looks a bit like VsB” we get to check out this kids versus vampires , New Orleans edition. Tonight we witness the girl Black as Night.
Read MoreWhen did you decide to become Indiana Jones?
Do you like video games? Do you like video game movies? Do you like movies that everyone else seems to hate for no apparent reason that you can understand when you actually watch the movie yourself outside of the fact that they don’t like a specific actor or feels it’s somehow assaulting their childhood? Well, if you answered yes to some or all of these questions, you might want to make sure people aren’t looking at you funny for talking out loud - that happens to me all the time - and then get ready for a treat. Keeping on the newer releases band wagon I’ve adopted lately, we check out another one that I wanted to watch that was from a bit further ago but I just remembered was on streaming the other night. Maybe it’s not the dream cast, but let’s see what kind of fun treasure hunting action we can get into with Uncharted.
Read MoreBeing all she can be.
My brain hurts. Like, it’s not a bad kind of hurt - although I am fighting getting this done before the weather decides to knock out power or internet to sabotage me, so it could be a little bit sinuses. I think the real brain hurt is coming from processing everything I just watched, and trying all at once to gather those thoughts to write this out. There is a lot going on here. I mean, holy cow. I can’t even come up with something witty at this point, let’s just get to the tacks - tonight, it’s Everything Everywhere All at Once.
Read MoreConquer your fate.
Since I’ve decided to do some new movies, I guess can hit the stuff that’s nice and fresh and in the “to watch” of my list on various movie delivery sites. Tonight, we go to the most recent money-back guarantee for things I should like - a violent viking flick! I’ve got a long line of liking vikings stuff - even managed to read through the entire Nibelungenlied at once point - can’t remember most anything from it thanks to my garbage memory, but I think you get the point. Anyways, let’s see what blessing are bequeathed upon The Northman.
Read MoreStealing the power of the universes one by one.
There’s a lot of different stories out there with the premise of how there can be only one -be it a figurative last survivor or a literal only one. Tonight, we’ll dive back into the martial arts fun-fest that once was, and still is very much in that time. Is it good? Is it bad? Should this movie have killed off a couple other versions of itself to deliver even better? I sure don’t know - but perhaps we can find it if we ask The One.
Read MoreThe adventure is real. The heroes are not.
You could be amazed that after seeing a trailer for a movie about a romance writer and model being on some shenanigan adventure in the jungle I thought “hey, this should be fun.” Whatever the pitch, the trailer reminded me of other movies I watched at one point or another that i had fun with - those adventure flicks of old that followed that Temple of Doom style. Well, you also know I’m usually one to not bother doing the reviews with the newer movies - on account of spoilers and all of that sort of thing. Well, today we’ll try something relatively new and tackle one of those new-fangled movies while it’s still fresh. Prep for comedy and bring some munchies, tonight we search for The Lost City.
Read MoreIn this town, your either one or the other.
Back to our regularly scheduled programming. Although there is hardly a genre of movie music that I can say is constantly as impressive as that dubbed “Spaghetti Western” I admit I don’t tend to watch a ton of westerns. I’ve never really zeroed in why that is, and most of the time I do decide to watch one it’s already well known and oft enjoyed by the crowd out there that does watch a bunch of them. As alluded to last time, I had something in mind that I wanted to come back to tonight for just such a reason - and to be honest it’s a bit of a cheat since I already have watched it before so I know if I like it already, it’s just a matter that you might not know if I do. Grab those stirrups and slide on your best boots, tonight we draw as fast as we can in The Quick and the Dead.
Read MoreWelcome to Crystal Lake.
Tomorrow is Friday the 13th again. That’s another excuse to drop one of those movies! I could go the entire length of the series, but that would require my disc player to stinking work, so instead I go to the one that’s still on streaming - which ignores all the other ones past the first anyways, so bonus I guess. Yep, I could have done anything - verily, I hadn’t originally planned to do this one but then I realized what today was and figured it’d be a good excuse to hop back into some sleazy dumb horror slashing for old times sake. Set it or forget it, tonight is the reboot-quel of Friday the 13th.
Read MoreNo one gets out alive
I have a game that released today that deals with beating up demons as super-fancy marines, so I though I’d do a movie that would follow suit. After a quick google search and a check against my log of things I’ve already done, I was surprised to realize that I in fact have not done tonight’s movie. Just like me to think I did something that I didn’t do, right? Well, I guess I may as well go ahead and remedy that situation, am I right? Load you guns and bring your flashlight, tonight we boot up Doom.
Read MoreWhere it began so it shall end.
Well, here it is. Episode 500, if you will. I feel like at this point it’s expected of me to come in with some big announcement about how I’ll be going on a sabbatical, or how I’m so rich and famous that I couldn’t possible get around to as steady an update, or how family life is taking higher priorities. 500 times I’ve come here after watching a movie and pumped out words, typos, and images for an audience, no matter how imaginary (and profit of net turn around negative Squarespace yearly renewal fees). I think instead though, it’s suitable to say that much like the pitch contained within this movie (regardless of how it went franchise-wise), we are just getting started. Tonight we finish the trilogy of that bad vampire-busting man with Blade: Trinity.
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